Possibly the weirdest thing that has ever happened to the human race, is ChatRoulette. However, it could prove to be a useful and lasting outlet. There are two screens, one of you, and one of your random stranger. Both of you have the option to click -Next- to move on to another stranger who is more interesting. Basically, ChatRoulette a place Wilson from "Home Improvement" or Herbert from "Family Guy" can feel comfortable in their own foreskin. Upon first visiting the website, I instantly viewed a chat room called "Scrotum Modeling". This was the front page, not a search I conducted myself. If I knew there were such modeling arenas, I'd have been well-versed on the topic. Everyone knows women just adore a lovely looking scrotum. Well, whatever floats your anonymous, uncensored boat, here are 13 people you will most definitely meet on ChatRoulette:

The Exhibitionist Friends

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These girls sit side-by-side in tight tank tops with their tits hanging out. The team effort here really shows a great sense of sportsmanship. Surely some partner on the other end will favor one girl's breasts over her friends. I sure hope it doesn't cause any problems. These friends love showing off their perfectly tanned and toned bodies and probably fill their self-esteem D-cup by their viewers reactions. These girls know what they're doing, so they shoot from the neck down.

The Sorta Shy Masturbator

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This guy aims his camera directly at his groin, not forgetting to keep his face out of the shot. He likes masturbating on camera, but doesn't want anyone to know who it is that's doing the jerkin, so he just keeps it from the Bugle Boy waistband skin imprint down.

The Creepy Masturbator (Double Negative?)

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This guy has no shame. He shows his face and everything. Just some dude beating off on camera for all men, women and children to witness. There he is, just loving every minute, knowing for sure no fool would click "Next" when they see this production.

Someone Wearing a Perverted Graphic Tee

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Usually college age guys wear these vulgar shirts. "I <3 Pussy" and sexual stick-figure types of shirts are the norm. One particular dude wore a stick-figure t-shirt depicting the "Dirty Sanchez". Yes, we get it, you're on a website notorious for men beating off and for women flashing, no need to hammer it home with a shirt like this. But you should definitely comment on it - He'll love it.

The People Fighting for Video Chat Romance

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Those looking for love fight for the sanctity of ChatRoulette. With no real guidelines or objective, ChatRoulette can be used for basically anything, including finding love. These romantics fear the vulgar images as threats to their future online honey. His commentary is along the lines of: My dream girl is not going to continue to use ChatRoulette if all she sees are dudes beating off..... or, Sometimes, one person can ruin it for the whole bunch...or even, This is ChatRoulette! Have some respect!

Old Hairy Dude Looking for a Party

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Possibly newly single, (the logic of whoever let this gem get away is beyond me) older guy is looking for his second-chance at life. Maybe he didn't get to date a lot, or maybe he got sick and tired of his Murphy bed, who knows? The point is, this guy is looking for a change. He's turning over a new leaf and that leaf is Chat-motherfucking-Roulette.

The Non-Committal

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This girl is not sure if she wants to participate in this video chat. She aims the camera to her cardigan, and won't yet show her face. There is a risk involved in being on a random world-wide video chat. While it is unlikely to run into anyone you know, it is possible, and these users are still weighing the pros and cons. Maybe they will watch their "partner" and warm up to the idea, but until then, they will probably just chat online. Think of this as the 'dark silhouette + voice modulator' for video-chat.

The Ultimatum Issuer

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ChatRoulette is a video chat website, so if you don't have a webcam, it will be difficult to participate. One guy was lying in his bed, and I didn't have my webcam on. He started chatting with me, asking to see me, making sure I was a female. I told him IT was working on my webcam, and asked how tall he was because his arms looked like oars. He laughed on-screen, but his chat tone remained firm. Said he wouldn't get "naughty" (sick) until I supply him with something decent. He bargained with me by asking me to send him my photo. In five seconds otherwise, he's signing off. He types his countdown, and upon reaching zero, clicked "Next".

The Sign Holder

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The funniest sign I saw on ChatRoulette was from a young guy holding one saying: I'm sorry I'm not topless and masturbating. Another person had a paper bag over his head with: Boobies make me smile. Some people get pretty creative on this website because they probably want to stand out and try to keep their "partner" from clicking "Next". Who knows what the objective behind this is, maybe some of these guys are trying to stand out in a sea deprived, abyss-dwellers.

The Mask Wearer

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There are a plethora of people wearing masks and costumes for one reason or another. Some are funny, like a guy who dressed up in a full body penis and scrotum costume and danced around. Others are downright creepy and might be violators of Megan's Law or something. Some dude was in a full-body gold latex suit with a hood. I asked what he was and he wrote: A leopard, stupid.

The Tease With Surprise Ending

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People are catching on, but being a tease on ChatRoulette is pretty funny. One scene depicted a chat with a gorgeous girl who was blatantly hitting on a reluctant college guy. The only problem is she was 15. They chatted for over 10 minutes, and the poor guy was so conflicted, seeing his every emotion was very entertaining. At the end, he asks if she plays sports, which she replies yes, then an image of this beautiful girl appears. With a penis. Engaging in an act with another girl. With a penis.

The Dancer (The "Shirtless" is Implied)

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Mostly comprised of dudes with the misfortune of having lost their shirt, yet still keeping all accessories safely on his body, this type is a dancer. He dances to club music until a partner stumbles upon him and joins him in this dance. This sort of gives me a warm fuzzy feeling seeing such camaraderie. I can imagine him sharing the details of his day to his girlfriend; "Class was good, bought the good bagels you love and I danced to techno music with a shirtless dude in New Zealand on ChatRoulette for seven minutes - no homo."

The "Make This Face"

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This one is pretty funny. One person stumbles upon a sign that reads: "Make this face" with a drawing or photo. Burt from "Sesame Street" is a popular one to stumble upon. Most are reluctant at first, then give in and make the funny face, then cracks up. I appreciate this sense of fun and surprise with such randomness. But what's with the complete absence of an erect penis? I don't get it...

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