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For decades now, science fiction movies have depicted a wonderous future where robots do humankind's dirty work. Most of us can't help but feel like we should be there already in this future or at least almost there. The robots that are out there, however, are mostly the product of a government- funded weapons research program. And who gets to benefit from that? From giving handjobs to scaring our cats, these are the ten best robots for today's everyman.

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The caption for this robot reads, “Soon you will lack the need to move!” Most of us already lacks the will to exercise and get up from the sofa, and no there is pretty much no reason to do so. This handy little robot refrigerator launches beers by remote control whenever you want one. No longer do you have to get up from your favorite video game, or miss the next hilarious commercial. All you have to do is push a button and within seconds the beverage of choice is delivered right to you. The makers of this robot expect sales to be slow at first, but plan to recoup millions in their long distance catheter device, which enables the consumer to go to the bathroom from up to 50 ft away from the nearest bathroom.

The Ahh, Isn't It Cute Robot

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This robot is perfect: it stands only 2 feet tall and moves just like a little person. But the best part is that this robot's head is a 6-mega-pixel camera with an x-ray vision camera attachment. The X-ray technology used is similar to the look of night vision filters (ie., One Night in Paris). And, the camera can be controlled by the user via remote control; once a picture is taken it can be sent right to your cell phone. In focus groups, this robot has proven to have females think it is so adorable. Unfortunately the x-ray vision camera can not detect the difference between a hot girl at a party and your mom, therefore when the party is over remember to take the x-ray vision attachment off. If you don’t you will never be able to get that picture out of your head let alone your cell phone.

Palmala Handerson Robot

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Be glad we did not provide a video of this robot in action (unless you're really into robots). A group of robotics engineers from the University of Tokyo invented a device for the soul purpose of giving the user a hand job. The motivation behind this project was to create the perfect companion to those that need both hands on the computer. The Japanese ad boasts that the robotic hand has human like skin that can detect heat, girth, and pressure. A price has yet to be determined for this product, but I imagine this product will soon show up in one of those famous MasterCard commercials. Priceless.

“You Don’t have to Go Home, But You Can’t Stay Here” Robot

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Originally this robotic device was invented to pick up dead bodies in Japan. Apparently, Japanese coroners were so overloaded with human remains that they needed additional help. This unit is expected to hit U.S. markets in 2011. The only difference between the Japanese and American versions of this robot, is the American one will include 12” speakers, a subwoofer, and an iPod jack.

“Clean My Floor…Bitch!” Robot

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Everyone has heard of this product, and you are probably not too impressed that it made the list. But this thing really works, I understand young guys never think to clean the carpet. Why is clean carpet important? Because, women are impressed with a clean carpet, especially if they plan on getting rug burns on it with you later. In addition, there is an Internet rumor going around that next in development for the Roomba is a Flowbee attachment. Clean floors and a well-manicured head of hair anyone?

“The Unassuming Pool Boy” Robot

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This robot is the perfect companion for any bachelor’s pool. This robot captures underwater video in perfect 1080p high definition. Along with other accessories that come with this robot are stickers that say “pool cleaner.” These are perfect for camouflaging the robot in your pool. So the next time you have a pool full of women wondering why the pool snake seems to be getting too close, you'll finally have a reason to say, 'oh that robot! he loves boobs!', and hope that everyone laughs.

“I Can and Will Crush You” Robot

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After the release of Iron Man, every man secretly wants to own a suit that would enable them to be 10x stronger. This exoskeleton robot does just that. During an interview with the creator of this technology, he reportedly stated the inspiration behind this project came from all those jocks in high school that used to beat him up and make fun of him, and billion-dollar government grant.

“My Back Feels So Much Better” Robot

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A typical chiropractic visit can cost someone up to $80-$100. That was until a plant manager from New Castle, Indiana converted a closed GM plant into a chiropractic center, charging customers $5 per ride (visit). He got the idea the day he heard his plant would be closing. He was quoted in the local newspaper to say, “ yeah my buddies and me decided to strap a chair to one of those assembly line robots while drinking a pitcher of Miller High Life…we all saw how friendly those robots could be in that one super bowl commercial…How’s that for American ingenuity!”

“Magic Legs“ Robot

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Ever find out you’ve had too much to drink only when you try to walk on a sidewalk without hitting buildings? Who hasn't. With these strap-on robolegs you can drink even beyond that point of inebriation: simply type in an address to which you would like to go, and let the legs do the work. Supposedly the inventor meant for these to be used by the elderly and the disabled, but real entrepreneurs know that no one ever went multi-platinum by selling to that demographic.

“One Trick Android Sex Machine” Robot

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Everyone’s heard of a one trick pony, well this is a one trick android sex machine. One trick pony’s are never funny, but one trick android sex machines are hilarious. I mean this robot will hump anything! If you want hours of entertainment, then get your hands on one of these . And whoever put this montage together was a genius.

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