There is something to be said for proper documentation of a good night out on the town. There is also something to be said for avoiding that documentation when you become blacked-out on the town, for when you end up passing out in the gutter with your Mardi Gras beads surrounding you and a Las Vegas visor drooping sadly around your neck, it would be ideal if photography did not further complicate the situation.

The "We Do Everything Together"

source: Flickr

It is very difficult to maintain the appearance of masculinity while drinking out of a straw. However, when that straw is dipped into the same receptacle as another man, it is absolutely impossible. One's imagination cannot help but flash back to these young men getting ready to party by passing around the hair gel and shaving each other's backs, and then flash forward to them curling up, two per double bed, and quietly whispering "goodnight" to one another.

The Less-than-Consensual


source: Flickr

This picture was taken a split second after this guy realized that someone saw him forcing himself on this girl in the sideyard of his buddy's house. He then got creative and turned it into a joke, and they both somehow mustered up awkward smiles. "Cheers! Huh, huh."

The Crusty Cosmopolitan

source: Flickr

Being a hardass is not without responsibility. Keeping up the façade of a whiskey swillin’, filterless cigarette smokin’, freewheelin’ sommabitch can be a trying endeavor. Sometimes you just need to cut lose and have a fuzzy navel martini or two. The only problem is that if someone gets a photo of you doing it, your friends are frequently going to remind you, “Hey Carl, remember that one time when you inadvertently acquired a vagina?”

The All-Boy Dance Party

source: Flickr

'Sing like no one is listening and dance like no one is watching', right? Wrong. Because there is not only someone watching, but they are also taking pictures and uploading them to the internet. So after the four hits of Ecstacy have worn off, the glow sticks have faded and hemp necklaces and tie-died shirts are no longer cool, all you will have left is this photograph of you, dancing half-naked with a bunch of other dudes in a closely confined area to document your misspent youth. And I don't mean that in a sweet, nostalgic sort of way.

The Train Sleeper


source: Flickr

You had a hard day of work, and a hard night of play. To your credit, you had the wherewithal to find a safe mode of transportation home, but you seem to have missed your stop. Six hours later you wake up and are delighted to find that you are already dressed and ready for work again! If you can make this a habit, I would recommend letting your apartment go and saving some money on rent.

The Bloodbath

source: Flickr

If you are a dude and you drink, then chances are you’ve been in at least one drunken wrestling match. If no one gets hurt, you end up looking like you were just trying to mount each other. However, if someone does get hurt, you apparently end up one droopy eye away from becoming Sloth from The Goonies.

The "As Good a Place as Any"

source: Flickr

This reminds me of the scene from The Big Lebowski where Walter Sobchak (John Goodman) picks the crippled Jeffrey Lebowski – the millionaire – out of his wheelchair and throws him on the ground. But in all seriousness, how the shit did this girl end up like this on the side of the road, as if she were just waiting to be picked up by the sanitation department? My bet is that the cooler contains a nice, fresh set of human kidneys.

The Social Caterpillar

source: Flickr

When photographs are taken of you in the evening, you would hope that they would be flattering of your social life and the people with whom you have chosen to surround yourself. You probably don’t want the pictures to show what really happened last Saturday night: you went to a party and ended up dancing with your softball coach from high school (whose eyes glazed over just before he started getting really angry), while some dude starred at you creepily until he passed out on the couch.

The "Act Your Age"

source: sofakingdrunk

If you’re an old person, you should be expected to hold your liquor. There should be no exceptions. Especially when you are in the November of your years. Thought you could hang with the big boys Grandma? You can't. Your suave grandson was born for this shit. Why don't you leave the partying to him while you grab a legal pad and jot down some notes on how you should have lived your life.

The "Aint Scared of Shit"

source: Flickr

Getting hassled by the cops is always a bitch. Especially when all you are trying to do is pull off some sweet tricks on your bike in front of an adoring crowd. The fact that someone would document this shameful occasion with a photograph is just an additional kick to your well-exposed nards.

The Inspired Perspire

So you finally decided to get off the World of Warcraft message boards and get a few drinks with the boys. You danced your ass off, and your shirt is evidence of your labor of love. You couldn't care less about what anyone thinks, no one is going to tell you how to live your life. In fact, no one is going to tell you anything, because aside from the girl who sacrificed in order to make this picture a reality, no one is going to come anywhere near you.

See the original 10 Drunk Photos You Don't Want To Be In.

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