Technology is great. And, what it makes possible, is even greater. But with great power, comes great responsibility. Enter the 'text message'. When used sober, it is an innocuous, nay, efficient means by which to communicate. Add booze, and you got some fun. Add too much booze, and some indiscretion, however, and you have a recipe for disaster. And so we took the liberty of putting together a basic guide for those who are unaware of the acceptable and unacceptable drunk texting protocol. Enjoy.

Acceptable Protocol:

1. Text an ex when you find out she has recently become single.

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Nothing delights the senses more than finding out that an ex-girlfriend has just recently become single. After being dumped she is going to need a shoulder to lean on, and a place to rest her back. The time has come to regain what was once lost, at least for the night.

2. Text her before 10 p.m.

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Most women want to know who they're going to end up with at the end of the night. Make sure you plan the hook-up in advance before booty call hours approach, and go out in the same vicinity of your prospective hook-up partner. Later, suggest bailing out of your respective parties and hooking up together, she will be just inebriated enough to say 'yes', and impressed with your planning skills.

3. Keep the texts short and sweet.

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Size does not always matter when it comes to text messaging. Use exclamation points and smiley faces after sending flattering texts. It will reduce mistakes and have them skinny dipping in no time.

4. Text with persistence.

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5. Make sure you are still able to perform

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Nothing is worse than inviting a girl over for a late night hook-up than having her find you unable to perform your earlier text promises. Make sure to stay away from the wave of Jagermeister shots at last call and you'll be good to go.

Unacceptable Protocol

1. Do not get a girls number and then text her continually all night

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You will look like a total creeper if you send her fifteen messages about coming over to your friends party after the bar. "Come to my friends party." "It's gonna be cool!" "Where you at?" She did not go home with you for a reason, she barely knows you. Easy tiger.

2. Do not sext one girl while having a normal conversation with another fling

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The possibility of sending a raunchy message to the wrong girl should scare you. "Oops, that one wasn't meant for you, haha," is not an acceptable excuse.

3. Do not drunk text if you live at home with your parents

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Living at home with your parents is a major turn off. Just ask these guys. It's an even bigger turn off than when you had five people living in your two bedroom apartment. Unless your Will Ferrel's character, in Wedding Crashers, there is no point in even trying. "MOM! MORE MEATLOAF!!!" Get your own place.

4. Do not text an ex if you're not over it yet

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There is a reason why she dumped you. She can hear the tear drops falling on your iphone, as you misspell everything and barely make sense. Fumbling over words while being sloshed and desperate will not get her back. It will only worsen the situation.

5. Do not text more than one girl to come over at once

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Do not risk passing out with a slice of pizza and a half drunk Coors Light in your hands when two girls show up at the same time. Camera phones are everywhere now, thedirty.com takes no prisoners, and no one wants to see the great lengths you will go to get tail.

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