Is there anyone better you could think of getting relationship advice from? At 19, rookie Kenny Powers changed the face of professional baseball. With a full count, in the bottom of the ninth inning and two batters out, Kenny Powers' fastball won the 2002 World Series. With that success, Powers built a massive bank account, and a big time ego to boot. While he may be the most crass and outspoken member of major league baseball to date, he has some relationship advice that's top notch. Until the majors call him back up, Kenny will be living the small town life in South Carolina, and slumming it in Mexico. All while continuing to f*ck everyone up with his infinite wisdom and knowledge through his use of the Internet. His official Facebook page has over 450,000 fans, and there's the remarkable fake K.P. Twitter, that he uses to share his mastery of the one liner.

Charges Were Dropped, Montel

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Kenny: "You wanna know about relationships? I know all there is to know. Just ask my second wife Tina. Yeah, she was a stripper. And if Montel Williams wants to talk sh*t, then he can go f*ck himself, cause those charges were dropped."

It's refreshing to see someone who still thinks favorably of their ex-wife. The world would be a better place if others could give it a try. Strippers are a class act in Kenny's world, and just because the marriage didn't work out, doesn't mean things have to get ugly. So take Kenny's advice; when someone is trying to get all up in your business, tell them they can go take a hike. The only person allowed to ruin your good name is yourself.

All Your Success Depends On You

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Kenny: "Just like in life, all of my successes depend on me. I'm the man who has the ball, I'm the man who can throw it faster than f*ck. So that is why I am better than everyone in the world."

Have some faith in yourself. When you're trying to get together with that fine dame you met down at Shaboom Shabooms, don't let insecurities get in your way. You are the king of the jungle. Being king of the jungle may also include dating more than one woman at a time. You're naturally more confident when you have more than one "iron in the fire," and confidence will literally ooze from your pores. Remember that you are the man with the ball, and you can throw it faster than f*ck!

If You Don't Like Someone In Your Family

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Kenny: "I'm not saying this from personal experience, I'm just saying in general, if you find someone you don't like in your family, it is perfectly okay to f*ck them over."

Some people have terrible family members. When are people going to understand that just because you're blood related, doesn't mean you have to be their best friend, or even care about them at all? Take Kenny's advice, if someone in your family tries to screw you over, beat them to the punch. Make sure to screw them over so bad they'll never mess with you again.

Laying Down Some Truth

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Kenny: "Honey, I love you, I think you're a terrific girl, but you have clothes like a f*cking d*ckhead."

Everyone in a relationship has heard these catch 22 questions before; "How do I look?", or "Does this make me look fat?" There isn't a more self incriminating question in the English language than this. And you are literally damned if you answer, and damned if you don't. So don't fall prey to this trap like other wussies. Take the Kenny Powers route, and rain some f*cking truth on her head.

Being A True Champion

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Kenny: "But, a true champion, face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above. A man fights, and fights, and then fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies."

When you find that your true love is engaged to another man, there is only one thing to do; fight, and fight, and then fight some more. In the harsh reality that is love, you can't simply stand there while some chump takes off with your woman. Don't be a pussy; fight for what you want. Think being a Caveman, on the reg.

Eduardo Sanchez

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Kenny's Father Eduardo Sanchez: "I believe, you gotta do what you feel in the moment. You gotta trust in your feelings. If you wanna buy something that you like, buy it. Don't worry about the money, you just buy it. You wanna have sex with a girl, have sex with her. You wanna leave the condom off? Go for it - it feels better that way...."

While this quote may not have come from the man, Kenny Powers, himself; it does give an insightful probe into where Kenny gets his crudeness. This may be some of the healthiest advice to have ever been shared between a father, and his son. The advice is so simple it becomes legend; do what makes you feel good - things will just work out if you follow this mantra.

Realizing What You Lost

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Kenny: "I made the mistake of leaving you behind before, and I'll be goddamned if I'm gonna do it again. f*ck all that fine Cuban p*ssy. Your olive skin beats that any day of the week. I'm doing it right this time. We're doing it together."

There are times in a man's life when he doesn't realize what he's got, till its gone. When your woman starts acting up, getting all fussy and shit, its easy to think about the grass being greener on the other side; newsflash, it rarely ever is. Men, all women are crazy, you just have to decide on how much craziness your willing to put up with.

Appreciating Your Friends

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Kenny: "You know, Stevie, when I first met you, I'll be honest with you, you were a little bitch.... But now I'm looking at you, and to me you seem like a dude who knows what's up. You don't take sh*t from anybody, you smoke weed on the reg. Quite frankly, you're somebody I'm proud to know. And you're somebody who deserves whole hell of a lot more than just being an assistant."

When your friends take shit from anyone, and don't smoke weed on the reg, its disappointing. It hurts your heart, and soul. The hardest part is letting them know how much they're f*ucking up, without hurting their feelings. When they finally pull their head out of their ass, you can finally let them know how proud you are of them.

Paying For Sex

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Kenny: "A lot of people ask me, 'Kenny Powers, you're a giant superstar. You can get any woman. Have you ever paid for sex?' And the answer is yes, I have. Several times, in fact. And it's actually kinda cool. You can negotiate practically anything and sometimes, even just kind of do stuff in the moment that you never agreed to pay for and it goes by without much argument."

Even giant superstars pay for sex, and Kenny Powers isn't the first. Kenny joins a charming group of delectable perverts: Charlie Sheen, Hugh Grant, Eliot Spitzer, Jimmy Swaggart, and Daunte Culpepper. Take Kenny's advice and own up to getting a prostitute like a champ. Once you admit you've done something wrong, there is nothing left to talk about. Its only when you deny, and everyone knows your guilty, that you get yourself into trouble.

Doin' It For A Girl

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Kenny: "Reminds me of why I'm here in the first place. A quest is nuthin if you got no one to brag about it too; you will never reach the end if you're only doing it for yourself. Me, I'm doing it for a girl I had to leave behind, just to get this far. Now I gotta go a little further to get back to her. All I can do is hope that one day she'll understand, and when that day comes, it's not too late."

Sometimes you have to get away, just to find yourself. As life would have it, sometimes your quest will bring you to a crossroads, and you'll be forced to make difficult decisions. While we don't condone leaving your girl at a gas station, without any sort of explanation, we do understand the need to find self. Sometimes you have to take care of yourself before you take care of others.

Loving Women

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Kenny: "Some people say that Kenny Powers is a woman hater. That's not true - I love women. Every f*cking one of them, even the ugly as sh*t ones. But don't ask me to trust them. Not even nuns. Because every pair of t*ts comes with a gaping hole of need that even Kenny Powers can't fill."

Don't get Kenny Powers wrong on this one, he loves women. He just can't trust them. When you're a high profile celebrity, and successful athlete, trust issues can be a big concern. Some women are just after your money. Even 50 Cent knows all too well the dangers women can bring. Last year, 50's ex Shaniqua Tompkins, who is also the mother of his child, sued him for $45 million dollars. $45 million dollars is quite a gaping whole of need to fill.

Respect Her Mind

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Kenny: "You gotta respect her mind, just as much as her body."

While some may just think of Kenny Powers as a womanizer, he has a soft side as well. Kenny knows all too well that women have more to offer than a great rack. Women are smart, intelligent creatures, that deserve love and admiration. Just when you think Kenny is just a brutish, pig headed womanizer; he comes back and kicks your butt with some knowledge.

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