The 1980s were nuts: cocaine, brick phones, Kirk Gibson and Reaganomics. But most importantly, it was the decade in which the campiest, and most ridiculous beer adverts were created. These commercials have a distinct playfulness to them, rather than the sex-laden advertising efforts of the 1990s, and the absurd or relatively high-brow commercials of today. They were also, overwhelmingly montage-based and very low budget, when compared to today’s standards. If you notice, each commercial also has a jingle, which is nice. Savor the cool, refreshing flavor of these sweet advertisments and feel free to pour some out for the brands that no longer exist…

LA BEER

Not sure if this beer was referencing Los Angeles or Louisiana. I’m not sure, either, if it matters. What ever happened to LA Beer?

BUSCH

I am led to believe that the Hollywood blockbuster Brokeback Mountain was heavily inspired by this beer commercial. I think this advert came out about two months before advertising executives finally realized that more beer could be sold if attractive, busty women in high-waist bikinis were visible at all times. But then again, I could be wrong.

BUDWEISER

This commercial epitomizes 1980's beer advertising efforts, and features arguably the most famous mascot in the history of alcohol advertising, Spuds MacKenzie. With cameos by Robin Leach’s voice, and a Brian Wilson sound-alike, what that is good is not in this commercial? I love that the dime at the end of this video asks Spuds to call her. If I could sum up this commercial in one word it would be “awesome”. If I could use two, it would be “textbook anthropomorphism.”

STROH’S

Why are two guys sitting in the driver’s sear of a Sedan? That is a four-seater if I am not mistaken. This commercial is the single reason why professional athletes feel the need to one-up each other with dinosaur-egg omelets on MTV’s Cribs.

HIGH LIFE

Miller High Life is for honest, hardworking Americans...and boxers. This commercial was made during the height of America’s financial, economic and military supremacy. Back when we exported not only delicious light beers, but also honesty, big trucks (to Mexico and Canada) and a Protestant work ethic. Can you blame the Japanese for latching on to everything American during the Eighties and Nineties?

MILLER LITE

This is perhaps Joe Piscopo’s most noteworthy performance outside of SNL.

SCHLITZ

This commercial features a Maverick type character that keeps having the wool pulled over his eyes. At the end of it all, a red ribbon (maybe held by, or associated with a woman) steals his hog, and refrigerates his beer. A classic bait and switch, and you know what, the commercial’s protagonist doesn’t seem to mind. Because, a six-pack of Schlitz is definitely worth a motorcycle. An extra bonus is that this commercial features the panty-dropping rock classic “More Than A Feeling” by Boston.

COORS LIGHT

This commercial features Christopher McDonald before his acting career blasted off with his role as Shooter McGavin in Happy Gilmore, quite possible the best movie ever. He plays the role perfectly of a smarmy wing man to his oafish friend who accidentally got a phone number. The commercial takes us back to a time and place when drinking didn’t lead to problems, only impromptu high-fiving and maybe an super-competitive billiards game that ends also in a high-five. Where? At the Silver Bullet, of course.

COORS

This campy Christmas time ad from Coors features a Scott Baio look-alike, and some bad-ass Christmas-themed beer cases. What doesn’t make sense is why the main character looks frightened by the beer at first. Either way, Coors never fails to make a kick-ass party even more kick-ass. Twelve ounces at a time. My suggestion is that they bring those cases back, but then again, people will start bitching that we need Hanukkah and Kwanzaa themed ones too.

FOSTERS

In Australia, there is a lot more open space than in America, toilets drain counter-clockwise and commercials are twice as long. The best part of the commercial is the man singing about being Australian, has a distinct American accent and sounds a bit like Bob Seger.

PABST

HOLY SHIT. I’m pretty sure this commercial aired in 1980, which barely makes it eligible for this list. The bottom line however, is that this is the best commercial ever made. Ever. The commercial starts out as what seems like an educational video on sexual harassment, but then quickly becomes a dance fest that gets the whole brewery involved. It is really just the logical next step from their old marketing campaign. Enjoy this.

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