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After the Holidays are over,  I usually just throw the Christmas tree away with the ornaments still attached. I was making good money the last couple of years and – besides driving a Hummer - having a fully decorated tree dying on my front lawn in February was just another way of telling my neighbors that I could afford to waste money. This year, however, with the economy shooting itself in the dick,  I found myself without the extra money to make my house as festive as it was on Christmases past. 

So, without dipping into my savings (and without abandoning my regular holiday binge-drinking) I decided to make decorations with used beer cans and bottles lying around the house. This proved disastrous and I cut my hand on a can. After a quick jaunt to the free clinic to get my hand stitched up, I decided that I am better off just  commenting on the feats of others. So here they are, my favorite Christmas-themed decorations and constructions made from beer cans and bottles, in no particular order.  

Busch Angel

source: Flickr

Here we have a wonderfully-crafted angel made from a classic Busch can. If the light reflects off of this ornament just right, it looks like it is winking at you. I keep mixing up the lyrics to "Head for the Montains" with "Deck the Halls".

Monster Christmas Tree

source: Flickr

I originally thought this picture had to be from somewhere in Ireland, due to the sheer volume of beer that was consumed during the tree's construction. But then, I saw the palm trees in the background. It turns out the Vietnamese can really kick them back.

High Life Ornaments

source: william couch

This is what I am talking about. Ok, not really, but this is what I am going to talk about. If you are going to go through the effort to create custom ornaments for your tree this year, don't just throw something together with any shitty light beer that may be available in a can. Use the "diet Champagne of Beers." Show your houseguests that you have class, and also a good amount of consciousness with regard to your figure.

Homemade Christmas Tree

source: jacklch

This Christmas tree does what buying a 60-inch plasma for your apartment is meant to do:  impress people. If this wouldn't make models and BBWs alike want to become your love slave, then you must have a goiter or some serious disfigurement.

Transient Christmas Cart

source: ElectrikCandyland

Most of us working people think that the world's homeless just sit around being aimless and unproductive all day.  Then this guy goes ahead and completely changes our perception on the existing social structure that blithely empowers some, while making it difficult for others to just get by.

Grolsch Christmas Tree

source: recordstoregeek

What is confusing about this piece is that if you were to spend so much time constructing a perfect conical structure of beer bottles, why would you put it in the back lot of an old warehouse for no one to see? Let your light shine friends!

Shitty Christmas Wreath

Everything else in this collection looks more or less like the construction was planned out beforehand, as the creators spent weeks or months collecting the necessary materials. This, on the other hand, looks like one guy consumed exactly six cans of beer, two bottled waters, a Diet Coke and an Arizona iced tea, and tried to play his trash off like it was festive.

Carlsberg Tree

source: Magalie L'Abbé

An imposing structure to say the least. I keep thinking I have seen this before…

Modern Christmas Art

source: andrewsayer

To the museum curator, this was a straight-forward dissertation on the structured paradigm with which society views alcohol consumption. To everyone else, it was a bunch of beers stacked one atop the other, in a way that resembled a tree.    

Heineken Hippy Tree

source: lambrettaTV175

The Dutch have mastered the arts of: building levees, speaking 7 languages fluently, and building Christmas trees out of beer bottles. And Marijuana is legal there. Prove to me that there is no positive correlation.  

Pilsner Trujilo Arbol de Navidad?

source: LukeOne

Imagine the look on your face if you saw this huge tree of beer, and when you ran over to it, all the bottles were empty. You'd probably try to walk away from it all business casual-like, and hoped no one noticed you doing that.

Pabst Blue Ribbon

source: The Felt Mouse

Everyone's favorite beer has just been made into an ornament. If this doesn't want to make you yell, "PBR me ASAP" then you are un-American, or you hate Christmas, or baby Jesus.

College Can Tree

source: Prince Gord

"Dear Mom, I told you that we got into the Christmas spirit here at State. p.s. Can you do my laundry when I come home, I am out of clean tee shirts"

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