If you’re in love, you may be fantasizing about how to pull out all the romantic stops for the ultimate proposal. Sure you could just take her out for dinner and ask, but that’s not a story that will ring down the ages. It won’t be worth sharing with friends during a wonderful evening out at a dinner party…nor will it be worth revealing over a Thanksgiving Dinner when a grandchild asks how you proposed.
Naturally, you have to have a few things in place before you pop the big question. One, you have to be sure that she’s the one. Two, you have to be sure that she feels you’re the one. Three, you have to be sure that she is just waiting for you to ask. Four, you have to get a grip on your nerves. Five, you have to make sure the time is right for both of you.
With those caveats out of the way, here is a short list of do’s and don’ts to guide you when making your proposal:
1. Do get flowers.
The thing about flowers is that you can easily make a complete fool of yourself. The way to really mess up this sweet gesture is to buy the wrong flowers or buy them from the wrong place, like a grocery store or gas station.
Here’s how to do it in the right way:
First, buy extraordinary roses, overwhelmingly beautiful and superior roses.
Second, buy them from a high-quality source. Since you are unlikely to find a flower shop in your local neighborhood that specializes in the best, most luxurious, sophisticated, special, and expensive roses, your best chance of finding the perfect box of roses will be the Internet. Usually, when you order them online, they will come in a beautiful box, almost as if you were presenting the love of your life with a box of exquisite chocolates.
2. Do create wonderful memories.
Avoid petty arguments before the day you propose. Perhaps you never argue, in which case you can dispense with this piece of advice. Alternatively, you might always be getting enmeshed in a battle of wills. If this is the case, then, for a week dig deep into your soul to be the living embodiment of the virtues of compassion, patience, and kindness. Also, treat her like royalty–take her to a spa, wine and dine her at the best restaurants, do what you can to make her giddy with delight for a whole week before you pop the question.
Here are two don’ts.
1. Don’t ask if you don’t have a ring.
It’s simply part of the ritual. Without a ring, it’s a sort of empty-handed gesture, which makes you guilty of a faux pas before you even genuflect. If you don’t have a ring, it could be because you can’t afford one or because you can’t figure out what she would like. If you can’t afford one and can’t borrow the money, you may need to upgrade your finances before you propose. You’re just not ready to handle the costs that naturally arise during a courtship.If you can’t decide, then you should either forget the idea of surprising her and take her shopping or pick a bauble that you think she might like from a jewelry store that has an exchange policy.
2. Don’t gush even if you’re overjoyed.
Babbling about how you see the moon in her eyes isn’t going to go down well. It’s fine in poetry books and chick flicks but doesn’t work well in real life. While we all love compliments; it’s embarrassing to have someone go on and on about our breathtaking qualities. Not only is gushing sophomoric, but it also embarrasses the other person. Just don’t do it. It’s better to mumble than to gush. Even if you feel that she is the finest human being on the planet, just keep it to yourself.
A Final Thought
After you propose, you will unleash a whole new chain of events, many of which will require out-of-pocket expenses. In earlier eras, the finances of the groom were considered an important factor in a marriage proposal. While that’s no longer true, it’s still not a good idea to propose when you’re financially overwhelmed and dare not even use your charge card to buy a pack of chewing gum. If you’re at this stage in life, your desperate frame of mind will quickly sour your relationship. Wait until you’re on your feet before you propose. Everything will work out better that way.