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The Wannabe Entrepreneur Guy

We all know one of these people in real life. He's the guy you run into at the annual Christmas party who is perpetually struggling to get "that new project" off the ground. Sadly, what used to be a once or few times a year run-in with this guy is now a daily spectacle on Twitter, where the wannabe entrepreneur tweets every few weeks about a new company or product he is starting and thinks we all need to hear about. Always promising to deliver a market-busting hit, his Twitter page devolves into a mini-obituary of companies that fizzled out as soon as the hype machine stopped churning. Avoid him unless you enjoy hearing constant half-hearted pledges to make millions.

The Self-Important Guy

The self-important guy is another familiar face made even more irritating by Twitter. Just like in real life, the warning signs are obvious to anyone: recurring references to how great he is, endless exaggerations of his achievements, and an overall demeanor that plainly exudes "I am better than you." His Twitter page is peppered with important people he has had lunch with, his straight-A report card results, or how much money he just spent overhauling his wardrobe. Those of us who prefer grounded and humble people will soon be annoyed by Twitter's many self-important guys.

The Dramatic Queen

Shakespeare said that all the world's a stage, but not even he could have predicted how many drama queens would infest Twitter and other social networking services. The dramatic girl(or guy) is identified as one whose Twitter page feels like a violin should be playing in the background, making all those "FML", "nobody understands", and "everything sucks" tweets tug at our heart strings evermore. No matter how trivial something is, this person always reads the most dramatic interpretation into it in order paint the image that they have been wronged - and shares it with the world.

The "Follow You, Then Unfollow You So It Looks Like I Have Tons of Followers" Guy

One of the big popularity indicators on Twitter is having lots of followers while not following very many people yourself. Such a ratio suggests a "Twitter guru" who is admired by all but follows only a select and lucky few. This ongoing quest for popularity explains the phenomenon of people who will follow you, wait for you to follow them, and then un-follow you immediately thereafter. Repeated several hundred (or even thousand) times, this crafty shell game makes the "follow then un-follow" guy look like a big shot to every unsuspecting Twitter user. In reality, his popularity is nothing but a lie and the chances that he ever tweets anything worthwhile are slim to none.

The Relentless Political Partisan

Plenty of Twitter users will speak their minds of politics from time to time; it's only to be expected. But these once-in-a-while commentators are a world apart from the relentless political partisan. We're talking here about someone whose blog is a ceaseless and unabashed mouthpiece for whatever movement/party/candidate he supports. Day or night, rain or shine, spring, summer, winter or fall, his Twitter page is an unhinged flood of opinionated rants on every political issue of the day, attacking rival candidates and predicting Armageddon if everyone doesn't see the blinding wisdom of his opinions.

The Guy Who Always DMs You

It happens - sometimes, a link, joke, or bit of information is so unique to one person that it's better to give it to them directly rather than share it with all of one's followers. Unfortunately, many Twitter users are abusing their direct message priveleges, bombarding followers with DMs every day from pillar to post. This is more or less annoying in proportion to how well you know the person; your mom probably wont care, but people you met online and rarely talk to wont take kindly to incessant DMs from strangers.

Tags: twitter, list