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Some of the most endearing cartoon characters are those those that remind us of ourselves: the ones that get drunk and do and say crazy shit. From babies to robots, their behavior covers the spectrum of different types of real-life drunks. Accidentally charming or outright embarrassing, these characters are hilarious for the their philosophical references to alcohol and who they become while under its influence. In any case, the following are the most likely cartoon characters to kick back a few, as well as the best examples of what they have to say about booze:
Randy Marsh - South Park

(source)
- "There's a reason God made our penises like little hoses, boys."
- "What Seems to be to the Officer, problem?"
- "Touch my nose to my finger? That's impossible."
- "I have some beer to keep my buzz going!"
- "It's ok boys, I know how to deal."
Stewie Griffin - Family Guy

(source)
- " I'm tired and I want to go to bed. Everybody! I'm drunk and I wanna go to bed. Just the women!"
- "I think you...are a special person...now now now...come on...I'm being...I'm being serious...for...for a second...are...are you gonna listen to me? ARe you gonna listen to me...so I...can tell you that I respect you?"
- "I don't know what you're talking about, I've never felt better [vomits] wait, now I've never felt better."
- "Hey everybody, I’m going to do something that’s going to...that's going to freak you out. I’m going to jump from this shelf to my high chair. .I'm going to jump. Are you watching? Are you? Are you? You're going to miss it...you're going to miss it."
- "I'm as OK as your face!"
Peter Griffin - Family Guy

(source)
- "Lois, I'm not drunk. I'm just exhausted from a long night of drinking"
- "Hey, who wants to play drink the beer? ..."
- "Let’s go drink 'til we can't feel feelings anymore."
- "Oh, Lois thank God it's you! The last few houses I went to were very rude."
- " Yah and then Chris starts in with all this Yo! Yo! Yo! stuff and I don't know what the hell he's talking about. So I started beating him with a hose and then my arm got tired... so I came here."
Brian Griffin - Family Guy

(source)
- "I'm not drunk, all right. I just have a speech impediment ... and a stomach virus ... and an inner ear infection."
- "Well, I... I think you're wrong, you... you increasingly attractive looking woman. You know, you’re... you’re really pretty... I'm serious... You could... you could be in magazines. You could! And not just Juggs or Creamsicle..."
- "I didn't know there was going to be an open bar. And the guy really knew his stuff! He made me a mojito. I don't think it's a gay drink, Mo-ji-to..."
- "Hey barkeep, whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?"
Roger - American Dad

(source)
- "Does this furniture polish have alcohol in it? [drinks bottle] Hmm, tastes like I might die."
- "Oh my god, we're a broken home and I'm too drunk and they're to dumb to channel it into art."
- "God! Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay?"
- "Oh my God, what is this and how can I replace my blood with it?
- "Roger: (Enters Steve's room) You bastard! Roger the clumsy alien? Roger who sips his silly juice and goes on delusional rants? And it's not silly juice. It's necessary juice. (Throws book on floor) Watch your back. (Walks into door) Ouch. Oh, that ouchies. Ouchies. Ouch. (Leaves)"
Homer Simpson - The Simpsons

(source)
- "Homer no function beer well without
- “Look, the thing about my family is there’s five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn’t talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.”
- “All right brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.”
- " Beer, the cause of and solution to, all of life's problems."
- "Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your mother just to get one! But you can't just stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
Barney Gumble - The Simpsons

(source)
- "All I remember about the last two months is giving a guest lecture at Villanova... or maybe it was a street corner."
- "Ah that's just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk."
-"Hey, Homer, I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there's only one case left."
- "Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!"
- "Hey, can I throw up in your bathroom? I'll buy something."
Bender - Futurama

(source)
- "Well, I Don't have anything else planned for today; let's get drunk!"
- “Yeah, well I’m gonna build my own lunar space lander! With black jack aaaand Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahh Screw the whole thing!”
- "Do I preach to you while you're lying stoned in the gutter? No."
- "Hey. What kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker."
- "We can all fight when we're drunk."
rtcrooks March 11, 2009 at 1:38am
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