With holidays around the corner, a lot of parties are being planned. It is a great reason to meet all your friends that family whom you haven’t seen in so long. I, for one, am always busy to even call people back, so this gives me a perfect opportunity to see a bunch of them without going the extra mile of consciously making the decision to meet every single person.
One of the issues that I have recently started facing is that I am reluctant to say “yes” to invitations. My natural response is to pout and tell people that I want to come but I don’t have the time to.
They will try convincing me, and I will feel bad, but still won’t budge. Eventually, the party will take place, people will meet, while I sit at home working while being distracted with the thoughts of the party. After the party, I will see them posting pictures on Instagram and then I am hit with regret over not attending the party, and the FOMO during and after the party is so real.
Going out has become more of something that worries me rather than something that makes me feel happy. To change that, the one thing that I have started doing is not giving “NO” as an immediate answer. When new things come our way, especially things that need us to step out of our comfort zone, it is really easy to say “no” immediately.
This is a sign of us letting our negativity, discomfort, and fear make decisions for us. When we don’t want to do something, the possibility of the worst in every decision, something that needs us to step out of our comfort zone immediately raises our alarms. This acts as a mental roadblock for us, which stops us from actually acting out loud.
Even if we later realize that the decision might have done wonders for us if we said yes, and even if we have enough time to change our decisions, we don’t because we said what we said, and acknowledging that saying “no” was a mistake, doesn’t change that it is still frightening.
We start trying to justify the “no” we said in the first place to feel good about it. This is why, if you are unsure about something or something scares you, refrain from giving an immediate answer. Take your time and think about it. Detaching yourself from the pressure of making an immediate decision will help you look at it more objectively and will help you put your emotions aside when giving an answer eventually.
I will think about the benefits of going to a particular party. Will there be people I want to meet, have been planning to meet, or really enjoy spending time with? Are there going to be people you always tend to avoid? Does it fall on a work night? How far away is it? Asking these questions, and being practical about it stops you from making a rash decision and regretting it later. So, before rejecting the invitation, stop and think. Happy holidaying!