Who’s Getting Laid? The United States of Sex.

According to the 2013 Census report, there are approximately 315 plus million people living in the USA. That’s undoubtedly a whole lot of people. But the question that we are hoping to get an answer to is this: Of those many millions of people, how many are actually getting laid? A study was made of several different aspects of sex and the results that came out were quite varied. Although some may be undeniable, the others are surely a far cry from the truth. Take a look at the graph below and see if you agree.

Is it really possible that only 33% of men have fantasized about having a threesome? I would have thought that this would at least have been near a 90% average. I wonder who they actually asked to answer this survey. Either these guys had very corny imaginations, or they watched enough porn that they already felt like they’ve had a ménage à trois and didn’t need the fantasy. Obviously highly unlikely, but so is the 33 percent that answered yes to the question. And how sad are you guys, America, that only 27% of men are getting fellatio and 19% of women are getting cunnilingus? I mean, come on! That’s just abysmal. I’m pretty sure that this is just for lack of trying or could be pure laziness. I highly doubt that other parts of the universe are lacking such oral skills. Just ask the Italians.

With the world now awash with 50 Shades of Grey and other such written works, talking about sex in such an open fashion has become much less taboo. Of course, it’s been discussed in many a Freudian debate, as well as in drunken nights of debauchery, but now it’s considered normal lunch dialogue. Although I can’t imagine talking about whether I prefer the missionary position over the doggie style while dining with my mother, at least I don’t need to pretend to turn a deaf ear when something hot and bothered shows on the TV screen. According to the survey, on the average frequency of sexual intercourse, it seems mother dearest was having sex as often as 45.2 times in a year. Not too bad for someone who’s been married for at least 35 of them. I guess I can aspire to being more like my parents than I ever thought possible. Not that I can even really get my mind to go toward that train of thought. But if there’s a lesson to be learned, it’s that sex is surely a way to keep a marriage working. Ask the single fella who only got to sleep with someone 29.8 times in a span of 365 days. That’s just dreadful.

With so much sex in the brain, it’s hard to even imagine what life would be like without it. Good thing Americans don’t have to worry about that. With reference to these graphs, people are doing the dirty. With 56% of men and 30% of women having 5 partners or more in their lifetime, there’s no denying that plenty of folks are getting some. Hopefully one of them is you.

Sexual Intercourse in America Infographic(Click image to enlarge)


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