Put testosterone driven men, plenty of alcohol, scantily clad women and an aura of hyped up energy into one room and you have a night set up for an epic brawl. When it’s time to start that bar fight, who better to have on your side than a lean, mean, fighting machine from the ring of Mixed Martial Arts? Let’s face it, this has UFC written all over it. Not to undermine any of the other pro athletes, I wouldn’t mind having some huge linebackers, blood-hungry hockey jocks or gorilla-like ballers on my side either. So if you had a choice, who would be your top pick? Here is a list of the Athletic world’s biggest, baddest, and meanest pro athletes on the planet for you to choose from.
Otherwise known worldwide as GSP, this Canadian native not only defended his welterweight championship of the UFC, he’s won a staggering 25 fights in his MMA career. His fighting expertise is as diverse as the planet itself holding black belts in Karate and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, just to name a few. I know that I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of one of his powerful flying kicks, but he can go ahead and beat the shit out of whoever’s fighting me though.
[tps_title]2. Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao[/tps_title]
For someone who stands 5’6”, garnering a weight of 108 lbs to 145 lbs, and built his life basically from the ground up, Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao would make a fantastic partner for in a fight. Quick on his feet, he’ll be sure to knock out anyone who tries to approach you, drunk or otherwise. And if you’re lucky enough to start this altercation in a karaoke bar, he can even serenade you after.
[tps_title]3. Mike Tyson[/tps_title]
With a promising career, “Iron Mike” became the youngest heavyweight boxer in the world. Unfortunately, his teeth chomping instincts overrode his professionalism and so forth ruined his career. Good thing that won’t matter when you get down to bar brawling. His opponents will be sure to find that his two weapons of destruction, fists and teeth, are pretty fearful. That is, if they don’t already find that crazy face tattoo fearful.
You’d think that someone who changes his name from Ronald William Artest, Jr. to Metta World Peace would behave according to his newly chosen name. Apparently he leaves the notion for actual World Peace to the beauty queens and prefers to spend his time on the court barbarically elbowing his opponents enough to give them a concussion! Although he did make his apologies to the fans and NBA commission, no apologies will be necessary if he’s on your side. When someone throws beer at him, Artest activates into a raging lunatic, and all hell breaks loose. Especially if you are a Pistons fan.
[tps_title]5. Kevin Westgarth[/tps_title]
It really is difficult to see the fine line between an actual hockey game and the “friendly fighting” that occurs about every 10 seconds. I mean, who doesn’t want to see blood, fists and teeth being knocked out considered as great sportsmanship? Westgarth actually caused another player to be brought off the ice on a stretcher after punching the guy so furiously. It was so bad, he ended up seizing for pete’s sake. Let’s just say he’ll be a great addition to your fighting team should you need him.
[tps_title]6. Gerry Cheevers[/tps_title]
While playing for the Boston Bruins, Cheevers was considered their number one goalie. His stitch-pattern mask alone would make anyone shudder just by seeing it. It’s as recognized as Jason’s mask from the Halloween movie. Cheevers started this tradition when he got hit with a puck so hard that it could have caused major damage to his face, and more so to his brain. Each stitch was painted on to symbolize each puck he stopped from entering his goal posts. Good thing it’ll be your unlucky adversary that will need to get the stitches next time.
[tps_title]7. Latrell Sprewell[/tps_title]
Despite the fact that this NBA player was included in the All-Star game a total of four times, he also managed to get himself suspended for 68 games when he choked coach P.J. Carlesimo. When he wasn’t helping his New York Knicks team reach the finals, he continued to pile up suspensions throughout his time as a pro-baller. Even though his career ended rather abruptly in 2005, I’d still call on him to have my back in a bar side brawl any day.
[tps_title]8. Ray Lewis[/tps_title]
Lewis is a wall of pure muscle at 6 feet 1 inch and a massive 240 pounds. Size alone will make any one of your enemies cower in fear at the sight of him. Although the charges against him were dropped, Lewis testified about the chaos and knife wielding during a fatal fight that he was regrettably a part of. At least you know he won’t back down when the going gets tough.
[tps_title]9. John McEnroe[/tps_title]
Nicknamed by Ian Barnes of the Daily Express as “Super Brat”, John McEnroe is probably the most famous hot head of the entire sporting world. Not only did he swear on the courts and throw his tennis rackets in frustration, he also cussed out the referees and was once overheard calling umpire Ted James “ the pits of the world”. Even if his fists were not always used for fighting, he can at least give you some fun commentary in your corner.
[tps_title]10. Dennis Rodman[/tps_title]
Dennis Rodman was probably better known for his “bad boy” attitude than he was for actually playing basketball. Why else would he suitably title his autobiography “Bad as I Wanna Be”? Not that his rebounding skills and offensive game are anything to scoff at, but his life outside of the stadium was far more interesting. Who wouldn’t love his multi-colored hair, high profile affairs and laughable acting skills, which earned him a “Razzie Award.” Although I can’t say he’s more brain than brawn, at least he will keep your foes entertained. When you find yourself stuck in the middle of that fight, he might even block a few fists coming your way.
So who will your pick be? Whether you choose a Gi Kimono wearing UFC fighter like Pierre, or a karaoke singing, left hook wielding boxer like Pacquiao, consider yourself lucky. The lone fact that you would even have one of these guys on your side is enough to make them think twice! Hell, I’ll even take Rodman if the other 9 are no longer available. If his size isn’t enough to scare people off, then the wedding dresses he prefers to sport just might!