15 Funny Quotes About Drinking

Drinking is one of the few things that people start as fun but then it somehow becomes a comfort to few and a problem to the remaining. What you do after you are a few drinks down shows what you lack in life or have too much of.

Drinking is supposed to be fun, to help you let loose after a busy day of work, to help you celebrate important occasions and happy moments that barge into your life, and maybe even drown your sorrow in it.


Over the years, drinking has been a companion for myriad reasons to people and as a result, a ton of funny quotes that have arisen from people’s experiences with alcohol has been doing rounds. Here are some of my favorite quotes about drinking that bring out a chuckle and resonate somewhere deep down.

1. “24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.” -H.L. Mencken

2. “And God said, “Let there be vodka!” And He saw that it was good. Then God said, “Let there be light!” And then He said, “Whoa – too much light.” -Anonymous

3. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” -Ernest Hemingway

4. “Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.” -Dave Barry

5. “I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.” -Chelsea Handler

6. “When I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reading.” -Henny Youngman

7. “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” -Humphrey Bogart

8. “The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.” -Jeff Foxworthy

9. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” -W.C. Fields

10. “I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.” -W.C. Fields

11. “The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.” -Lewis Grizzard

12. “Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald

13. “All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you, but let’s just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.” -Homer Simpson

14. “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems.” -Homer Simpson

15. “Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink, I feel shame! Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work, and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver” -Jack Handey

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