Top 5 Hilarious Bar Jokes

When you want to be funny or just wish to break the ice, jokes are the right way to go! Uncomfortable silence at the table is the worst, don’t you think? Do you want to end this unpleasant silence forever? Jokes are a great idea! You can start the conversation quickly with a simple “Hey, did you hear this joke?” Or, “I heard a hilarious joke this morning!”

You can restore the conversation with the other person, and also, you would appear as a funny person to them. Who doesn’t like to befriend a funny person, isn’t it? But, avoid jokes that are sexist, racist, and contrary to religion. Here are some jokes that always run smoothly and make you popular amongst the group in no time.

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What are the hilarious bar jokes of all time?

The Fishing Joke

A man saw an old fellow fishing in a pond beside a bar. The man thought the old fellow to be a fool and invited him to have a drink. While they were drinking the first glass of whiskey, the man thought of making fun of the old fellow. Hence, he asked, “How many did you catch today?”

The old fellow responded, “You are number eight.”

The Human Psychology Joke

A shy man was eyeing a lady for an hour at the bar. At last, he found the courage and went to her and asked, “Are you free? We could talk for a while, then.” The lady starts yelling, “What an arse! I am not going to spend the night with you, who do you think I am.”

The music stops, and every person turns back to see what happened. The shy man returns to his table, with his head stooping down.

A few seconds later, the lady moves over to his table and apologizes, saying, “I am extremely sorry for what happened a couple seconds back. I study Human Psychology and thought of experimenting that on you.”

The man looks up and replies loudly, “What, 200$ for one BJ? Are you crazy?”

The Deaf Gin Joke

A man enters the bar and sees his friend sitting next to a 12-inch pianist. He said to his friend: “This is incredible. Where did it come from?” The friend pulled out an old lamp and told him that the gin inside would give him a request. The man rubbed the bottle, and to his surprise, purple smoke billowed and slowly gathered in the form of gin. With an artificial voice, the ghost said there was only one desire that the man could wish for.

The man thought and said, “I wish I had a million dollars.” Suddenly the bar was filled with ducks that exploded on the doors and windows that stood above the bar and stuck their heads into people’s drinks.

“What just happened?!” the man asked. His friend replied, “I know. Do you really think my desire was for a 12-inch pianist?

How to Run Away Joke

A man enters the bar and orders 12 shots. Before the bartender returned with the check, the man had gulped down half of them and showed no sign of reducing his speed.

When the man finished his last shot, the bartender asked, “Why did you drink so fast?” The man wiped his mouth and answered, “You will drink quickly, too if you get what I have.” The bartender asked, “What do you have?”

The man said “75 cents” and ran outside the door.

The Duck and the Beans Joke

A duck enters the bar and tells the bartender, “I want to buy beans.” The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t sell beans.” The duck goes away.

The next day the duck came and asked, “I want to buy beans.” The bartender answered a little rudely this time: “I told you that I don’t sell beans.” The duck leaves.

The next day the duck arrived again and said, “I want to buy beans!” The angry bartender yelled back, “I told you I don’t sell beans! If you ask again, I’ll nail you to the wall!” The duck runs away.

The next day the duck entered the bar, and before the bartender could say a word, the duck asked: “Do you have nails?” The bartender looked confused and said softly, “Sorry, we don’t have nails.”

The duck asked, “Do you have beans, then?”

Conclusion

Every hour can be happy if you have funny jokes with you. With the jokes mentioned above, you can quickly become the most entertaining fellow, and you can tell them as many times you want, as they never get old. Don’t forget to test them on your friends for a good laugh at the bar.

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