The Best, The Worst And The Dirtiest Dive Bars In The United States | Back to Blog

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  The Best, The Worst And The Dirtiest Dive Bars In The United States

  contributed by rtcrooks June 20, 2008 at 5:12pm

  We have all have a strange attraction and loyalty to our local dive bar. The strong, cheap drinks and smell of vomit bring us back night after night. Our feelings of simultaneous disgust and comfort are the common denominator in this filthy genre of establishments. Whether you love them, hate them or both, the crowd and character of your neighborhood pub are things to be respected. Here is our list of the best, the worst and the dirtiest dive bars in the United States.

  
  
  

  Seattle Dive Bar: Five Point Cafe
  

  415 Cedar St
  Seattle, WA 98121
  (206) 441-4777

  

   

  If you are looking for good times, stiff drinks, rude bartenders and a chicken fried steak the size of your head, Five Point is your spot. With breakfast served 24 hours a day by wait staff that are not afraid to talk a little shit, this dive is as dirty as they come. The greasy food is so good that the frequent complaints about finding hair in it fall on deaf ears. The men's urinal is a hole in the ground with window view of the space needle. A place to go where no one knows your name, and if you told them, the strongest cocktails in town would help them to forget it by morning.
  
  

  Dallas Dive Bar: Adair's Saloon

  2624 Commerce St
  Dallas, TX 75226
  (214) 939-9900

  

   

  Adair's Saloon is a breath of dirty air in a city so wealthy they named a horrible soap opera after it. At Adairs, Happy Hour still means $1.50 for drafts and they serve Lone Star Beer and their World Famous Beer all night long. Live Music every weeknight and never a cover. As one person once revelled to me, Adairs is where you go when you've given up on being able to drive home the rest of the night and you are ready to take that bullet train to blackoutville. Good unpretentious crowd. Thank you Adair, for being a good TexasBar. I look forward to getting so drunk at your bar, that I will not be able to tell whether it is my extreme level of intoxication or this guy's Fu Manchu that caused me to piss myself.
  

  
  Los Angeles Dive Bar: The Goat Hill Tavern

  1830 Newport Blvd
  Costa Mesa, CA 92627
  (949) 548-8428

  

   

  Do you like the smell of sweat, cigarette smoke, urine, stale beer and vomit? Me too. That is why I love The Goat Hill Tavern. Walk into this bar and you'll likely be amazed by the beer selection they offer (100+ beers). But, also consider the gourmet fare (Pickled Eggs, Peanuts) and the thorough wine list (Beringer, Gallo), and you have the makings for a swingin' singles establishment. While actually located in the Los Angeles Metropolitan area (Costa Mesa), Goat Hill has the some of the finest amentities one would expect from a Southern California watering hole: hard-ass doormen, sections of ceiling replaced with lattice (smoking ok), dirt floor, shitty televisions, and horrible music. Definitely worth visit if the 30 mile detour from the heart of LA is not too daunting.

   

  
  New York Dive Bar: Welcome To The Johnson's
  

  123 Rivington St
  New York, NY 10002
  (212) 420-9911

  

   

  Hipster irony. Love it, hate it? No big deal. Welcome to the Johnson's, the LES bar that looks like you stepped back into the '80s and accidentally ended up in a trailer home in Idaho. The bar's interior is covered in family portraits and drunken wall-scrawling that grossly resembles graffitti. Bad music, bad drinks, bad service to boot. Definitely going for the dirty and shitty = cool, motif, WTTJ's saving grace is its $2 PBRs in Manhattan, which is pretty much unheard of. Maybe we're too hipster to like something hipster (note this list). But, then again, maybe I want to go to a bar and find some girls that smell better than me. Definitely a place where I wouldn't think twice about pissing in a used beer bottle while hammered at a booth, and/or throwing up on myself without shame.
  

  
  Las Vegas Dive Bar: Dive Bar

  3035 E. Tropicana Blvd , Suite E & F
  Las Vegas, NV 89121
  (702) 579-4707

  

   

  This bar is on this list because of the ridiculousness of their pretense. "Dive Bar - King of Bars". It's like when you tell the son of Ford Motor Co.'s CFO to create something "cool" or what "the kids will like" and he comes ups with a bar that has a really nice logo (Flames and Poker imagery) and serves filet mignon. I mean, I like that you have horrible live music, scheduled on the regular, but if "Dive Bar" is just a clever name, you suck at life. I'm just kidding, I don't like horrible live music - so provincial. On a side note, the bar is in the Walmart Shopping Center just off Tropicana, so you can bulk up on rollbacked Lamar Odom shirts for $0.88 after you get liquored up and it sounds like a good idea.
  
  Portland Dive Bar: Shanghai Tunnel
  

  211 SW Ankeny St
  Portland, OR 97204-2706
  (503) 220-4001
  

  

   

  This little joint hides downstairs in the the basement of a building about a nine iron from the Burnside Bridge. As the story goes, there is a tunnel out the back of the underground bar. Back in the day, "Shanghaiing" was a regular practice in Portland. Able bodied men who would pass out drunk at the bar (or be drugged by bribed bartenders) would be kidnapped and carried through the tunnel to the river and taken out to sea. They would wake up in the morning as a slave worker on a ship bound for the Orient. Gnarly. Now they just serve $1.25 Rainier Beer in the bottle and some killer Tater Tots with which to stuff your drunk face.

  
  Atlanta Dive Bar: Gravity Pub

  1257 Glenwood Ave SE
  Atlanta, GA 30316
  (404) 627-5555

  

  
  
  

  Hotlanta? ATL? Alright. Oh who doesn't love gentrification? Located in what was once a traditionally blue-collared part of Atlanta, Gravity Pub has tried to market itself as a dive bar. Someone needs to tell these boners that you can't become a dive bar, you have to be a dive bar. But in all seriousness, we're completely over the whole thrift-store decor and the fact the place is covered in polaroids does not make me want to listen to Death Cab. It takes me want to listen to Slayer, actually. This is especially the case after you run into a bunch of trustafarians or Emory students wanting to talk to you about Obama.
  

  
  San Francisco Dive Bar: Trad'r Sam

  6150 Geary Blvd
  San Francisco, CA 94121
  (415) 221-0773

  

   

  Trad'r Sam makes this list because the last time I went here, I got blind drunk and couldn't make it back to my friend's house only 3 blocks away. I ended up taking two cabs and it took me three tries to find a roach motel that had a vacancy. The good news is that I got laid and free continental breakfast, the bad news is that the evening cost me an arm and a leg and I ended up on the other side of the city. Thank you 4 Scorpion Bowls. The best way to describe this place is that the owner was probably gay (tropical) in the early 1980's, but then got married and had some kids and decided to fund his 401k rather than reinvest some money into the bar's interior. This place is also great if you like not being able to lock the bathroom door and you still pay with cash. Rude bartenders too...but who cares? Everyone here is drunk.

  
  San Jose Dive Bar: Tres Gringos

  83 S 2nd St
  San Jose, CA 95113
  (408) 278-9888

  

   

  You know what the world doesn't need? Another beach-themed bar not even near the beach. Rule No1: Straw awnings do not belong indoors.However the main reason why Tres Gringos is on this list is because they are able to bring a Mexican Dive bar straight out of spring break and into the nerdiest city in the world. It is even complete with a taco stand at the front, and plenty of taco resembling puke at the bathrooms in the back. The other reason it is on this list is the seriousness with which Beer Pong is both played and administered here. Beer Pong which normally belongs in the basements of fraternities and binge drinkers, is now brought into the public sector and it is drunken gold. The chaos after a few hours of beerpong at a bar on wednesday nights is unprecidented. If you are the kind of person looking for a few sips on a martini while chatting about how the nasdaq dropped 3 points, you'll probably want to steer clear.

  
  Houston Dive Bar: The Proletariat

  903 Richmond Ave
  Houston, TX 77006
  (713) 523-1199

  

   

  This bar is a hipster mainstay, and a douchebag-who-thinks-he's-cool-mecca. Yeah bad service and bad environment were cool, like 5 years ago. In Los Angeles or New York. But Houston? Just go on and become that rancher that you were supposed to be. The next Elliott Smith is coming from the above cities, not Texas. People like me go to to Texas to eat ribs and ride mechanical bulls, so please figure out a way to live up to our expectations. Also, this bar looks like its about to fall apart, is super smoky, the black walls are disgusting and now I kind of want to go there and get in a fight, have a one-night stand, and maybe even break a bottle over someone's emo kid's head.

   

  Chicago Dive Bar: Matchbox
  

  770 N Milwaukee Ave
  Chicago, IL 60622
  (312) 666-9292
  

  

   

  The name is indicative of what you are going to get in this bar; a small, packed house. If you are claustrophobic or have an aversion to social interaction or cigarette smoke, this place is not for you. Packed into a narrow space furnished with only 12 barstools, you had better come early if you would like a seat. Matchbox does boast some of the best cocktails in town, made with fine ingredients. Hand squeezed lime juice for the margaritas, Bloody Marys mixed with horseradish and topped with veggies that have been pickled in-house. The craft of drink making is very much a part of this Chicago's favorite shit hole.
  

  
  Miami Dive Bar: Zeke's Roadhouse

  25 Lincoln Rd

  Miami Beach, FL 33139

  (305) 532-0087

  

   

  Miami is a pretty amazing town to drink and party in, so how this place managed to screw up the idea of a bar is very puzzling. Video Poker, check. Run-down Pool Table, check. This is definitely the bar where all the old strippers or go-go dancers go to die, and a big part of me likes that. The part of me that doesn't like old ex-strippers and go-go dancers, doesn't like it, however. Definitely a place to go on your last day on vacation, after you spent all your money on bottle service and foam parties. And on the weekends, this watering hole turns into a low-class nightclub, so there's one more chance to get lucky. Oh, andmost of its meals are under $5.
  

   

  Austin Dive Bar: Ginny's Little Longhorn Saloon

  5434 Burnet Rd
  Austin, TX 78756
  (512) 458-1813

  

   

  Ahh, Texas: Seedy, Racist, Loud and Raucous. Make sure you visit Ginny's on Chicken Shit Sundays. They convert a pool table into a giant bingo card and cage a chicken on top of it. Bar patrons are invited to buy numbers, and when the chicken shits on all 5 of your numbers, you win $100. This takes place every Sunday. Every other night of the week there is live (shitty) music. Good, cheap beer doesn't make up for the fact that I could care less if Texas were to secede from the U.S. This bar recently won an award for Austin's Best Budget Date Spot 2008.

   

  Is your local dive bar gnarly? We want to hear about it. Regale us all with your best, worst, or dirtiest tale of the place here.

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  Ba6ycak3s June 20, 2008 at 7:33pm

  I object to Houston's Dive Bar being listed as The Proletariat for the following reasons: 1. Houstonian's all know that "The Big Easy" on Kirby is the real Houston dive bar, and home of the best live blues in town. 2. I live in that zip code and have never heard of the Proletariat. 3. We have a no smoking ban for over a year, and this bar is listed as smokey....when was this review written and was the bar actually visited?
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  BruCrew June 20, 2008 at 8:26pm

  Thanks for the tip Ba6ycak3s, the article isnt necessarily all the best dive bars considering it is the best, the worst and the dirtiest, it is kind of a mixed list, the Proletariot could be considered one of the worst or dirtiest, from our opinion, but it sounds like The Big Easy is a cool spot so we will have to add that. And it has been over a year since I visted Houston, its been a while and I was just recalling from memory since we try to visit as many bars as possible when we get to a new town, thanks for the input!
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  WilliamLee June 21, 2008 at 4:30pm

  New Orleans is surprisingly missing from this list. If you ever manage to haul yourself down here there are numerous dives to try out. Ms. Mae's, Snake and Jake's Christmas Club Lounge, Brothers Three, are all good uptown locales. There's Aunt Tiki's, The Abbey, and The John for your Quarter rats and Maringy cats. Saturn Bar, Hi-ho Lounge, BJ's, for those with enough courage to brave the Bywater/Upper nine. New Orleans, home of the cocktail and dive bar.
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  cochise June 21, 2008 at 4:32pm

  while its not in the US, theres a duo of bars run by the same people on top of each other called clowns and jesters in southampton. Jesters is considered one of the worst straight up night clubs in england, but the booze is mega cheap, the people are drunk, and the club is the perfect size. http://www.clownsandjesters.co.uk/ just lettin you know next time you go to uk! Be warned: it's a real popular place with the 2 local universities
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  tempy June 21, 2008 at 5:50pm

  The proletariat's been closed for what 6 months? The next next option's gotta be catbirds.
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  BruCrew June 21, 2008 at 6:07pm

  The proletariat is closed? Well shit, I was there a year ago, thats why it was on the list.. don't live in texas so had to go from memory, ah well thanks for the catbirds tip.
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  Luccia June 21, 2008 at 8:40pm

  Actually, Trad'r Sam was one of the original, post-WWII Polynesian/Tiki bars. Vets from the Pacific theater got hooked on the potent drinks with lots of fruit juice, tiki torches, and palm-thatched huts on the beaches. Some came back and opened tiki bars. When I first went there in the mid-90s, I mistakenly touched one of the palm roofs on a booth and picked up 40-year-old grime that took huge amounts of soap and scrubbing to get off. Yes, everyone there is drunk. It's part of the appeal. Even with the influx of dot-commies, Trad'r Sam remained unchanged, unlike too many neighborhood dives in The City.
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  diglounge June 21, 2008 at 8:55pm

  Costa Mesa is not Los Angeles. It's Orange County. The best dive bar is Los Angeles is the Tiki Ti
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  drunkyfriend June 21, 2008 at 10:34pm

  When in Kansas City , try out Dave's Stagecoach whiich is a narrow crappy bar with questionable food , a warped pool table , and the best jukebox in town .
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  shsusig June 21, 2008 at 10:43pm

  The Proletariat was gross but it did have a great jukebox. I second the nomination for Catbirds, I used to drink there when I was 17!
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  Mulcor June 21, 2008 at 10:54pm

  Never heard of either bar in Houston, but if you're looking for a dive, try the (Mighty) White Swan on Navigation Blvd, where the beer is served by the gallon, the band can be anything from the local punk/metal band to 2 guys playing tecno on a keyboard, and they never heard of a stinking smoking ban.
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  bbrownso June 21, 2008 at 11:14pm

  I must concur with WilliamLee. New Orleans has some great dive bars. In Harahan, The Mill is the most unpretentious place to go. Much better than the Camp. Also in Harahan, is the Richshaw. It's a dive bar and karaoke on Friday nights is, well, interesting. Especially when some crowd favorites sing (you'll know them if you see them). But don't get there before 10 pm or you might be the only person there.
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  harriswillys June 22, 2008 at 12:11am

  I'm afraid you got rooked. The essence of a dive bar is that it does not call attention to or advertise the fact. In Vegas, try the Double Down Saloon. In Austin, head for Casino El Camino. In Los Angeles, Bar 107 is the ticket, hard against skid row. And in Seattle, pass up Five Points and walk a couple hundred yards east on 5th street to find the Funhouse, across from the Space Needle. Look for the evil clown on the roof.
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  BruCrew June 22, 2008 at 12:36am

  Thanks for the suggestions guys and keep them coming if you know of more, we are trying to build the best database of good bars out there.
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  geetus June 22, 2008 at 3:33am

  Houstonian ex-Montrose dweller here... Proletariat? Yeah, it sucks, but that doesn't make it the diviest bar in Houston (although it may be in the top 10). For that honor, head north on Montrose about a mile and hit Lola's. Bring cash, 'cause they don't take credit. And you might think about bringing something to defend yourself with, just in case. I can't agree with the Big Easy being a very divey bar. I went there and it seemed ok to me. Way too clean and safe to be a true dive. Another good one, although it's not in Houston, is the Poop Deck in Galveston. In the space of a few hours, I was flashed by 2 women over 50, watched a guy who sounded like the crosseyed guy on Waterboy fall off his barstool backwards, watched a homeless guy walk by in the parking, uh, 'lot' with a propane tank and sit down in the nearby alley and try to get high off it, while smoking a cigarette, was serenaded by a drunk guy with a handlebar moustache, almost got in a fight with a guy for putting cigarettes out on my windshield... I think this is what you would call an average mid-week night there.
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  salnajjar June 22, 2008 at 4:06am

  As an ex LA resident who did more than his fair share of dive bars I have to say the best one in Brennan's in Marina Del Rey (www.brennanspub-la.com). It's a 5 minute taxi from the airport, so it's great if your jet lagged and need some beers to level you out. They have good bands on every night (an all girl cover band of Ac/Dc anyone), dart boards, pool tables, stiff drinks, and most importantly, turtle races on a thursday night with an extremely lecherous compare.
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  DeathByMarz June 22, 2008 at 1:09pm

  Ack! Welcome to the Johnson's in NYC is a faux dive bar set up just to sell PBR to tourist hipsters. You want the real thing? Try Marz bar just a few blocks away on 2nd ave and 1st st. During the day the bar is held up by pickled, aging locals, all of whom used to be somebody before they found the Marz bar 20 some-odd years ago. At night, it's where hipsters go to die. It also used to be the de facto vip room for bands (and their friends) playing at CBGB around the corner, but with CB's gone, Marz is sure to follow. Get there while you still can!
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  glenstarchman June 22, 2008 at 1:44pm

  NYC: Yogi's (aka "The Bear Bar") on Broadway between 75th and 76th. Cheap strong drinks, a full-on white trash country jukebox and bras on the ceiling...all in the middle of the Upper West Side. LA: Boardner's on Cherokee off Hollywood. Bukowski, amongst many others, was a regular and paid for drinks several times with handwritten books of poetry. Seattle: the 5 Point is a great bar, but the Nite Lite and Rendevouz deserve honorable mention. If they hadn't have destroyed (ie... yuppified) the Frontier Room it also would be on this list.
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  pointy_hat June 22, 2008 at 3:58pm

  Gravity Pub for ATL? What a joke. It's a college bar, just like all the other similar crap joints sprinkled around East Atlanta. Lenny's on Memorial Drive (formerly Dottie's) is the only remaining dive from the good old days. God I miss The Point, the former best dive bar in Atlanta.
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  deusdiabolus June 22, 2008 at 4:46pm

  I never really thought of it as a dive (although it is a "hole in the wall"), but I would like to add Kirby's Beer Store of Wichita, KS to the list as not only a great bar, but a legend of the area. http://www.kirbysbeerstore.com/ R.I.P. Steve Schroeder
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  losingit June 22, 2008 at 8:56pm

  Denver isn't on here, and I can not think of the name of the dive bar there due to lousy memory. It wasn't downtown. In fact, it was in the weirdest place to find a dive bar. It was quite something though. The bar had these great vintage Sailor Jerry era mural paintings behind it. There was also a painting of a woman in stripy garter type stuff with crotchless under pants that just quite wasn't seedy (despite her pubes being very detailed), but managed to remain art after enough beer. They had one of those silly fortune telling machines at the entrance that made spooky noises and upset all the drunks! When the kitchen was open you had to go order from this huge pair of robust f***-me-red lips, and whoever was behind the lips only took cash and didn't take any special order mamby pamby crap like no mustard or hold the tomatoes. You ALWAYS tip the lips or now way you eat the food! They did serve a mean peanut butter burger and it rocked with a good cheap cold brew. I think Tuesdays were $2 pitcher night and that place was just scary and stunk like the worst frat party of your nightmares. I never once went in the bathrooms because they constantly switched the signs around so you never knew which one was the womens'. I saw a few guys go in and come out looking worse. There'd be full on college guys vs. biker brawls. Damn, I miss it, whatever it was called--had a catchy name. Too bad I have a vitamin B-12 deficiency and can't remember names...its next to some deli if you can believe it!
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  montrosegirl25 June 24, 2008 at 6:12am

  Uh...The Proletariat has been closed for over a year. Research much, Mr. Crooks?
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  DayDrinker June 24, 2008 at 5:22pm

  I would love to show you the holes in the wall in New Orleans. The Saint, The Saturn bar, The Erin Rose. I have compiled list of Dave bars from all over the country on DayDrinkersSociety.com. Has anyone ever been to The Abby in the French Quarter? If it's a dive bar you should at least be afraid and uncertain of how your night will end.
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  DayDrinker June 24, 2008 at 5:25pm

  Damn motor skills. Dive bars makes more sense the Dave bars. A dave bar would just be weird.
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  vileandwretched June 25, 2008 at 12:54am

  I like the Five Point and the Funhouse, but when in Seattle don't miss The Central in Pioneer Square, the oldest bar in Seattle. Also Shanghai Tunnel is one of the best in Portland, but be sure to try Yur's, My Father's Place, Triple Nickle, Sewickly's Addition ("the Sickly Addiction), Matador, aww shit, Just go to Ptown and walk around...too many to mention!
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  solaris12 July 1, 2008 at 2:49pm

  Just thought I'd mention my area....Pittsburgh. Gooski's is the ultimate dive...cheap booze and Guinness and a jukebox full of punk and Tom Waits. The Modern Cafe And Bar as well, where Wonder Boys was filmed. As for Chicago, I like Simon's, just down the street from the Hopleaf. And the Mars Bar in NYC is something else indeed. Also Milano's, just a few blocks away on the Bowery.
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  Tom2NOLA July 2, 2008 at 7:27pm

  The best dive bar in New Orleans isn't any of those listed above ... they wish. The best one in New Orleans is hands down Snake and Jakes Christmas club . Why? Because, its light by Jager candles and x-mas lights only the bar opens at 9 but never gets busy before 2 a.m. the crowd is great bartenders even better its where the students of Tulane and Loyola go when they are already drunk and is open late enough into the next morning most of the year you have to bring sunglasses to get home comfortably. They sell Schlitz in cans for like a buck fifty. And feature a drink called the possum drop (Jager dropped into Schlitz) because a possum once fell through a ceiling tile and onto the bar right in front of some girl.
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  pokinsmot July 5, 2008 at 6:15pm

  XD referring to the Goat Hill in Costa Mesa, you forgot to mention the crowds of rich kids so thick, unless youre a midget, youll be stuck there for a few days... better hope they dont run outta peanuts... but yes, their beer selection is mind boggling! when i think "dive" i think of a small hole in the wall bar that only the locals know about. Goat Hill is more of a thriving night spot.
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  leed25d July 26, 2008 at 2:57am

  Feh. Trad'r Sam is for lightweights. The old "Lynch's" on Jones between Geary and O'Farrell was the quintessential dive. When Lynch's closed, the mantle passed to the "Blue Lamp" around the corned at 561 Geary but, alas, it is closed now too. There's still the "Brown Jug" on Eddy/Hyde,but the only true holdout from the halcyon days is "The 21 Club" at Turk/Taylor. The "High Tide" at Geary/Jones is but a shade of it's former self. "The Geary Club" Geary betw Leavenworth and Hyde is struggling bravely and so is "The Nitecap" O'Farrell/Hyde. Gone and mourned are Looby's, Penny's, MacDonalds, The Coral Sea, The Driftwood, The Vagabond, and more that I probably cannot recall right now. Requiescat in pacem.
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  McShadow August 23, 2008 at 12:03pm

  In San Francisco Trader Sam's is considered a "Lounge" The 21 Club at Turk & Taylor is the city's best dive bar. It is locally known as the "Leper Colony". The regulars consist of old hookers, junkies, defrocked priests, cabbies, merchant seamen, boosters, con men, society slummers, chicken hawks, washed up porn stars, disbarred lawyers, people who talk to themselves, runaway nuns, the undead, the depraved and those who are hiding from the authorities. The ringmaster of this Circus is Frank who hails from Guam. He is a Great guy & a genial host. Advice? Don't Fuck with him or any one else for that Matter. They will eat you for lunch. Behave yourself & you are safe & most welcome. The 21 Club is located deep in the Tenderloin district which is in the bowels of the beast. Bring your dog...its OK.
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