For all of you who have forever marred your skin with a tramp stamp and looking for ways to get rid of it, don’t fret because you’re not alone. There are bigger idiots out there who have chosen tattoos that are just horrendous and embarrassing. The worst part of it all is that some of these people actually think that what they have is cool.
Tattoos are forever. Removing it with a laser won’t help much. You can lighten the ink, but when you look closely, the outline of the god-awful image is still there. Obviously, these people assumed that their skin was a canvass. The only problem is that the artist was no Picasso. They could have chosen an 11-year old to put the permanent ink on their skin instead. For many of these tattoo victims, they would have been better off.
So, maybe these 21 acts of lunacy could be your guide on what not to do. And with any kind of mark done on your body, never throw reason out of the window should you decide to get one.
Tattoo 1: The Twi-Hard
Twilight may have been a box office hit, but that doesn’t mean that you should etch that historical event on any part of your body. You can bet that there will be better movies. In fact, there are better movies to consider. Twilight just became a hit not because it was worthy of an Oscar, but women simply couldn’t resist looking at Edward’s hair and Bella’s sulk. This was a heart-warming story that makes a cringe-worthy tattoo. But what makes it even more embarrassing is that most of the tattoo recipients are moms who are obviously way too old for any of the cast members.
[tps_title]Tattoo 2: Snow White and The Seven Shitty Dwarves[/tps_title]
We get it, this tattoo was meant to be funny, but admit it, it’s just plain disgusting. Why would a bunch of dwarves want to enter the dark cavern that’s otherwise known as your ass? It baffles the mind. If you flashed this to a woman, you’ll disillusion her. She may have wanted to be Snow White growing up, but Heigh-Ho, it’s out the door she goes!
[tps_title]Tattoo 3: The Donkey Hole[/tps_title]
Is this guy trying to imply that his bellybutton is filthy? Even if bathes several times in one day and washes the dirt inside his bellybutton, the tattoo just makes it seem like it stinks. He must have been way over his head in acid when he got his tattoo. As for the guy who put this on him, well, he should have his license revoked. No decent person will want this on his body. And even if you were certifiably crazy, you still wouldn’t want this on you. There’s no rhyme or reason behind this. He’s evidently the ass who wants a tattoo of an ass.
[tps_title]Tattoo 4: The Lonely Dude[/tps_title]
This guy is obviously craving for a woman’s attention. Since he can’t get a girl in real life, he may as well fantasize on the one that’s tattooed on his chest. And if he thinks he can land a girl with this creative tattoo, he’s better off with Rosie Palmer and her five friends.
[tps_title]Tattoo 5: Connect the Dots[/tps_title]
There are so many ways to kill time. Obviously, the recipient of this childish tattoo is a kid at heart. If he’s bored, he’ll simply need a pen and start playing Connect the Dots. And if he gets sick of it, he can get a tattoo on his other leg and create the entire Battle of Gettysburg using the same game. Let’s see just how long it takes him to complete the picture.
[tps_title]Tattoo 6: The Armpit Crotch[/tps_title]
Is this guy hoping that you take a whiff out of his armpit and smell the woman’s bush? The only woman that he’ll land is the one whose services he pays for. No decent lady will ever dare step close to this ghastly attempt of a nude portrait. With women opting for Brazilian waxing, this dude must still assume that women don’t know how to groom themselves. Men with common sense demand that women trim the jungle every once in a while, he obviously likes to delve deep into the thick forest of trees and bushes.
[tps_title]Tattoo 7: The Alien[/tps_title]
Men oftentimes go for tribal tattoos to feel macho. He has obviously taken his to a whole new level of insane. Or, is this his way of hiding his truly grotesque face? If this is the case, then he just made the best decision in the world. He’s a much better looking alien than he is as a person. Meet the new Avatar chief of Pandora. He visited planet earth and had rainbow puke all over him.
[tps_title]Tattoo 8: Cry Baby[/tps_title]
If people only knew the origin of this tattoo, they certainly wouldn’t get it. The teardrop isn’t the world’s way to paying tribute to Cry Baby, one of Johnny Depp’s earliest movie roles. This was given to inmates who were accused of pedophilia or who have been called dangerous child predators. Popular culture certainly needs to do its research before making something a trend.
[tps_title]Tattoo 9: The Hair Mower[/tps_title]
Grandpa has obviously embraced the fact that he’s losing hair. Instead of using toupees or getting implants, he decided to show off his wicked sense of humor. Someone mowed all of his hair off, and from the looks of it, he lost a few of his brain cells in the process. This is obviously not an obscure attempt to hide the aging process. He’s telling the rest of the world that he’s way past his prime. As stupid as this tattoo is, it’s still a lot better than a comb-over.
[tps_title]Tattoo 10: Hand Art[/tps_title]
At first glance, you’d think that he got his fingers dirty and forgot to wash his hands before leaving home. Upon closer look, you’d come to realize that he actually has an elephant on his hand. Still, this doesn’t make the tattoo look any less unattractive. It still looks filthy. And you certainly can’t expect him to hold his hands this way forever just so people could understand what the tattoo really is.
[tps_title]Photo 11: The Walking Dead[/tps_title]
This is an ode to the fans of the Walking Dead. Here’s an actual cadaver walking around with her innards exposed for all the world to see. This tattoo won’t inspire the “oohs” and “aahs.” Chances are, she’d hear more gasps than praises. And you can’t blame people’s reaction to it. It’s ghastly and scary. This is one way to beckon serial killers her way.
[tps_title]Photo 12: Child’s Play[/tps_title]
This is a father’s ode to his beautiful baby daughter. The tattoo artist obviously doesn’t like children. What should have been a beautiful angel now looks like Chuckie’s bride. The ink looks nothing like the real deal. The man couldn’t hack it in the real world because he had no talent to speak of, and the father was merely an idiot who believed that this guy could replicate the little girl’s adorable face. He’s better off covering the entire thing with a black square. The new tattoo might look hideous, but it’ll still be better than this one.
[tps_title]Photo 13: Amanda Bynes[/tps_title]
This woman has gone Amanda Bynes on all of us and is just as obsessed with Drake. But to get the artist’s name on her forehead, she had to shave her eyebrows off. If she’s hoping to get lucky with Drake himself, she’s clearly mistaken. Someone should’ve given her helpful advice and told her to write Jack the Ripper instead. Only a crazy dude would ever fall for this.
[tps_title]Photo 14: Celebrity Fail[/tps_title]
Learn from the mistake of Angelina Jolie herself. This was her way of telling Billy Bob Thornton how much she truly loved him. The tattoo lasted longer than the marriage. She erased the painful past by putting another tattoo over this, but you can still see traces of the original print underneath the new artwork. Suffice to say that Billy Bob hurt her twice. He trampled on her heart when they divorced, and when she removed his name through laser surgery, the procedure must have hurt like a bitch.
[tps_title]Photo 15: The Illiterate[/tps_title]
Learn from this guy. If you’re planning to have a name or a word tattooed on your body, get someone who knows how to spell. His biggest mistake was to have it done in big, bold letters. He might need to do something about the E if he has the budget for it, but from the looks of it, this man is just as much of a trailer trash as the artist he chose. But then again, this could be an actual play on words. Either way, no one gets it, much less appreciates it.
[tps_title]Photo 16: The Social Media Enthusiast[/tps_title]
Ever since the dawn of Facebook, other social media sites have died a slow, torturous death. Our generation knows all about MySpace. In fact, many of us signed up of it and eventually cancelled our memberships. In 20 years or so, no one will know what MySpace is. In fact, no one might even know what Facebook is. This, then, begs the question: Should you have any brand tattooed on you? The answer is a loud, resounding NO. This is just a dead giveaway of your age. And even if this is your attempt to be funny, no one will get the joke unless you explain it to them.
[tps_title]Photo 17: The Lawbreaker[/tps_title]
Never mess with the cops. Sure, the man couldn’t care less about the police. In fact, he wants the world to know that he’s the ultimate rebel. Ironically, it’s people like these who have run-ins with the law and with rap sheets that are a mile and a half long. Let’s see if he can still live by that creed when he finds himself permanently behind bars. On second thought, he could also put the word Jailbait right under it.
Everyone loves a dirty joke every once in a while, but then again, just like movies, tattoos should be given a rating as well. This one definitely belongs to the XXX category. He needs to have this covered, lest irate moms might just step on his dead toenails and kill them some more.
[tps_title]Photo 19: Arm Troll[/tps_title]
Trolls are cute, but they belong on the dresser and not on your arm. This guy just told the world that he has hair growing in the oddest places. And just like the Armpit Crotch dude, he doesn’t know when to draw the line between funny and just plain disgusting. However, one thing’s for sure: this is certainly a conversation starter. He just better not become upset if insults get thrown his way eventually.
[tps_title]Photo 20: Pinup Girl[/tps_title]
Pinup girls are supposed to be sexy and beautiful. This one simply looks like she came out of the Hooters bar and ate her way through her career. The man must’ve thought that shapely girls are supposed to be round all over instead of curved in all the right places. Someone better tell him to draw a sack over his pinup girl the next time he visits the tattoo parlor.
[tps_title]Photo 21: The Lazy Woman[/tps_title]
Women are obviously vain creatures who worry about the way they look. This woman is a cut above the rest. She must’ve been too lazy to invest in a brow liner or in tweezers. So, she decided to have permanent brows tattooed on her face. She ended up looking like a trannie who thinks that it’s okay to look like a cartoon. However, she’s far from being the Disney princess that she’s aspired to be. She looks more like a Hyena who’s made Simba’s life a living hell.
Your tattoo says a lot about who you are. If you pick any of the tattoos featured above, you obviously want the rest of the world to think that you’re simply a loser who embodies the ultimate nitwit.