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My personal mission statement for 2009 is to try as many new beers as possible. In setting out a game plan, I realized that some of the beers that I would like to try are not for sale. In fact, they were never even produced. You just can’t help but wonder about the flavor of some of television’s most popular beverages. These beer’s roles in pop culture were made possible due to a show’s viewership, and some of these beers have even developed their own inherent popularity outside that of the show. Most of these are known, some are more obscure, and others belong on the list because they are part of hilarious spoofs meant to mimic beers that are commercially produced. Here we have our list of the best fake beers from television.

Duff of The Simpsons

Duff is perhaps the most famous of all of the fictitious beers on television. It is rumored that the creators of the show came up with the name while simply joking around (imagine!). During brainstorming sessions to develop a beer for the Simpsons world, the staff kept referring to the beer as “Duff” and eventually the name stuck. Among other things, Duff has been an inspiration for the show’s Duff Gardens, spokesdog Suds McDuff and of course Duffman!  In the last few years there have been a number of cases in which entrepreneurs from other countries have produced beer under the Duff moniker. Some have even outright plagiarized the logo. It should also be noted that Duff, Duff Light and Duff Dry are the same beer. But who cares?

Pawtucket Patriot of Family Guy

One of the most memorable episodes in Family Guy history is the Willy Wonka (Patriot Pat) parody wherein Peter and other lucky winners get to visit the Pawtucket Patriot. This beer is the favorite of Peter and his friends at the Drunken Clam – where he famously fell on top of Joan Cusack, then stuffed her in a mailbox. Peter likes the beer so much that he works for the brewery.

Buzz Beer of The Drew Cary Show

The Buzz Beer episode may or may not have played a role in the growing trend of energy beers and alcoholic energy drinks now widely available. Most of these new drinks are truly disgusting, and I am still waiting for a coffee-infused beer to come along. I really think it would taste good. Any craft brewers out there that think they are up to the task?

Shotz Beer of Laverne and Shirley

Laverne and Shirley were just two fun-loving single gals living it up in glamorous Milwaukee in the age of disco. And their jobs in the Shotz brewery Quality Control Department were the source of many of the show’s antics, as well as the basis of the show’s intro. The fictitious Shotz Beer is an obvious nod to Schlitz Beer, a fixture in the Milwaukee brewing industry. This is arguably one of the best TV intros of all time:

Dharma Beer of Lost

Older than Rocky III, maybe even Rocky II, this beer is featured on Lost as part of the Dharma Initiative. Owing to the show’s frenzied success, there are Dharma beer labels available online to print out and affix to the outside of normal, real-life beer cans. You could then serve them at your next Lost party, and everyone can pretend that they are drinking old beer from their favorite show. Be just like Sawyer!

Source: Flickr

ColdCock of Saturday Night Live

The ColdCock parody was one of Tim Meadows’ few shining moments during his extremely long tenure on Saturday Night Live. Not only does the beer have a great name, but I think that had I watched this video when I was younger, then I may have stayed away from malt liquors. Now, having experienced many malt liquor hangovers, the analogy makes perfect sense. Think you aren’t afraid of a beer? Think again. Chris Rock’s haircut is added bonus.

Flager Beer of Magnum PI

Tom Selleck has single-handedly made moustaches, short shorts and chest hair not only acceptable these days, but encouraged. It’s a bit disappointing, however, that the show’s creators were so limited when coming up with ideas for a fake beer that they settled on “Flager Lager”. 

Rocketfuel Malt Liquor of News Radio

The late Phil Hartman’s comedic genius was often underrated, and one of his finest moments was during his stint on News Radio. This show was not only one of my favorites, but also the source of what is arguably the best fictitious beer commercials of all time: the Rocketfuel Malt Liquor audio commercials, “Rocketfuel Malt Liquor, Damn!

Romulan Ale of Star Trek

The highly intoxicating blue beverage of Romulan origin is probably the source of countless inside jokes for Trekkies. For those who want to try Romulan Ale, there are a number of recipes floating around the internet to walk you through the homebrew process. There are also rumors that commercial licensing for the drink has been established, so buying the drink may be possible in the less-than-distant future at your neighborhood bar. I’d stick with an Amber, personally.

Source: Flickr

Girlie Girl Beer of Married with Children

The older you get, the less you think of Al Bundy as a curmudgeon and more like a regular guy.  You must admit he had a pretty lackluster existence, yes, but he also was a pioneer in woman-hating. The official beer of his anti-women’s liberation club No Ma’am was “Girlie Girl Beer”, which he drank before, during and after the nudie bar. It was probably also the basis for much of his brawling bravado and his other antics.

Vudweiser of Mad TV

This Mad TV spoof was directly inspired by the mid-1990s Budweiser ads with those annoying “Bud”, “Weis”, and “Er” frogs. Mad TV’s version offers a more realistic portrayal of what would actually happen if a frog were to find itself attached to, and flying towards a large truck on the highway. PETA enthusiasts, beware.

Did we miss a good one? Let us know in the comments section and we will add it to the list.

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