10 Drunk Photos You Don't Want To Be In | Back to Blog

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  10 Drunk Photos You Don't Want To Be In

  contributed by rtcrooks June 16, 2008 at 3:49pm

  Let's face it, we have all been really drunk and made some mistakes. This is part of being human. The good news is that a lot of times, when you act a fool, your friends are in a similar state of mind and probably weren't concerned with you being you. Unfortunately, the mass proliferation of digital camera ownership increases the chance that your douchery will be forever remembered. So while you and your buddies may not remember how stupid you acted,  fake humping Marty at the club, or pissing your girlfriend (at the time)'s bed, the camera always will. It is time to start stepping up your drunk game so you won't end up like these poor fools below.
  
  

  1. The Chief

  

  Ah, the classic tale of revenge. You have been a dickhole all night, starting fights, slapping girls asses and missing the toilet with your projectile vomit. Everyone hates you, and now is their chance to show it. It beings innocently with a dick drawing on the cheek, then a few strategically placed “I heart penis” notations. But when you wake up, your underwear have been cut off of your lifeless body and you look like a walking Pollock painting…it might be time to send out a mass text and check if you still have any friends.
  
  2. The Dirty Dancer

  

  Though your dance session seemed “so hot” last night, I can assure you that the photo documentation was not.
  
  Girls: “Backing it up” was indeed a safe foreplay maneuver, but didn’t do much for your pride. You basically got dry humped doggy-style in public view.
  
  Guys: When on the dance floor at a club, more times than not, you look like you are either a) attempting to sink your haunches into a lucky lady the way a hyper poodle does to his owners leg or b) holding on for dear life because you have no idea what she is doing with her hips. Also, resist the urge to “throw your hands in the air” when the cameras are out as your armpits are usually sweating like you just took four hits of Ecstasy.
  
  3. The Usurper

  

  You know what they say: If you can’t party with them, party AROUND them. This rogue clubber seems to find his way into the background of everyone else’s photos, making his presence known typically with a peace sign, a “peace out” sign, or the “rock on” horns. Who is this guy? What happened to his friends? Doesn’t he work the Carl’s Jr. drive-thru? No one really knows the answers to these questions. What we do know is that he is hell-bent on fucking up the photos of all patrons better looking and more popular than him.
  
  4. The Public Display of Erection
  

  

  You're a stud right? Got your sweet hair cut, and a casual button-down shirt that tells the ladies that you’re no slob...but also that you don't take life out of the office too seriously. Weekends = Party time. Oh Yeah! We're going out tonight boys and we're going to raise hell. You spend all night buying hot girls drinks but too no avail and start to get a bit loose yourself...thinking there's got to be a girl in this spot that's as hammered as you are.
  
  Then you find her and start dirty dancing to Best of Summer Hits 2003 (you use a dance you learned while in Cabo during that year's Spring Break to woo her), and the next thing you know you are playing tonsil hockey in the middle of a crowded room and hands start a wandering. You’re having fun, you are in the prime of your life. No big deal right? Sure buddy. Until the picture of you motor-boating a stranger finds its way to the company mail server.
  
  5. The Toilet Sleeper
  

  

  We all like to relax while on the pot, but for god’s sake, maintain consciousness. A more humiliating situation does not exist than being discovered by your friends, hunched over and comatose, with your pants around you ankles. No one can blame the photographer. Any way you look at it, the scenario is a banner moment that must be captured. Then again, it is tough to blame the victim either. You drank a lot of beer, so you are drunk…you want to sit. You also need a place to excrete the liquid waste from the beer. You walk into the bathroom and BAM! There is a place to sit WHILE excreting liquid waste. Who thought of this? Brilliant! And it is so comforta…
  
  6. The Pissed Pants

  

  The loss of control of basic bodily functions is something that should be kept off film at all costs. It can only mean one of two things. Either your body has most completely shut down due to your consumption of alcohol, or your foresight was so poor that you were unable to allocate proper time to find a restroom around the time your bladder reached max capacity. However, this girl seems to be an expert in damage control. Once the deed is done, your best strategy is to curl up in the fetal position to minimize your shame. On the up side of things, that cute flannel you are wearing is going to look great with your boyfriend’s mesh gym shorts from 7th grade.
  
  7. The Crime Scene

  

  This was not a funny charade. You were not just resting for a minute. You were out…all the way out. So much so that you became the party’s project. Congratulations! Your friends rallied around your conked-out corpse and gave you a proper burial. On the positive side, they have enough respect for you to not write all over your lifeless body. On the negative side, you still suck.
  
  8. The Crash and Burn
  

  

  The fact that we humans were given the materials to produce alcohol and only two legs on which to balance is God’s ultimate cruel joke. The sidewalk might as well be a sheet of ice covered in baby oil; no man stands a chance. The important thing is that we are all in this together, and you have friends to pick you up when you fall, right after snapping a picture of your pathetic ass on the ground.
  
  9. Beer Goggles
  

  

  Everyone has been there. Or at least most have. The night is coming to a close. Your sure thing turned out to not be that sure of a thing, or you are newly singled and looking to 'mingle'. In the back of your mind you know that you have to get drunk enough to make out with any of these seahogs, they all look the same in the dark right? And in the morning, after a small bout of self-loathing...you can quietly sneak out of the room and have one of your friends (or a cab?) come pick you up from her house... The best part about it, is that you went to a bar where your friends are never at and partied with people you don't know. It's cool; no one will ever know. Right? Wrong. Your thoughtless debauchery has been immortalized in order to educate future generations on both the merits of contraceptives, and what alcohol can do to your motor skills as well as your standards.
  
  10. The Switch Hitter

  

  What is it about alcohol that encourages everyone to switch teams? Kinsey…you got anything on this? Girls start making out with each other and boys start fake bf-ing as soon as the cameras come out. I am all for the dropping of inhibitions whilst under the influence, but the latent homoeroticism of these photos is not what you want to be sharing with your gym partner the next day over a Creatine shake. Maybe you can try to release just a bit of that sexual repression before you are 7 keg stands deep.

   

  
  Have you been caught in one of these situations? Got some funny drunk photos you think top the rest? We want your pictures, and will gladly provide some beer to ease any humiliation you may suffer. Submit your funny photo; the one with the most votes wins you a free keg of your favorite beer! Click below to enter or vote for the funniest photo here.

  

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  BruCrew June 17, 2008 at 3:52pm

  ahhh, digg effect.. sorry for the downtime guys, should be working again now!
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  mrmatticus June 19, 2008 at 4:58pm

  Ok, so picture #9 shouldn't even be here. You know why??? Because I am in that picture. I'm on the far right and those are my two friends. We weren't drunk nor did we even have anything to drink that night. Also, You can see that I'm dress clothes and that's because i just got back from funeral because one of friends mom had just died a few days earlier. Oh another thing, I'm gay, there's a lesbian in the middle, and the other guy is gay. So... your description makes no sense. All that picture is of is just me and my two friends being completely stupid while another friend of ours took a picture. I would also like to say that I do not mind this picture being here, I find it quite humorous. I just want it stated that we weren't drunk... even though I would love to have been :).
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  BruCrew June 19, 2008 at 7:33pm

  Haha, our bad mrmatticus, we got the photos off flickr under the creative commons license, and found ones to suit the article, obviously we had no way of knowing the situation behind each photo, but that is really funny, it just looked like a situation that fit what the article was getting at. The expression on the guys face is what was funniest to us.
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  supeveryone June 19, 2008 at 9:18pm

  lol, people who get drunk are stupid.
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  Wormbrain June 23, 2008 at 8:48am

  Nice! But looks like you got ripped off.. http://z100.elvisduran.com/pages/p2article.html?feed=136656&article=3848046
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  hamsterkisses July 18, 2008 at 7:56pm

  HAHAHAHA I KNOW #1!!! HAHA AND THE CAPTION BELOW IS SOOO TRUE, I WAS THERE THAT NIGHT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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  brasscoe76 August 15, 2008 at 10:33pm

  Hey rtcrooks, a buddy of mine alerted me about my picture being in this list a while back. I'm in #10, with the black shirt. I laughed. No, seriously! I have a sense of humor. I have no memory of those last few hours, and when I saw the pictures, I couldn't help but wonder "what the hell is going on here?" Ha! You caught me in a image at my worst. Keep in mind, it was my 30th bday, and had been drinking since 9am that morning. Good times, indeed. All the images are here, for anyone else curious: http://flickr.com/photos/brasscoestudios/sets/72157604191191072/ ...and so I joined this site to leave a comment, but it turns out, this site is pretty cool!
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