the online home of offline nightlife

Anyone who appreciates tattoos knows that people should get inked with what they love most, with the stuff that matters most to them, what most identifies them. The problem there is that sometimes people are just flat out retarded, and the things that matter most to them are not the kind of thing that make for permanent body-art. These are the 15 absolute worst drug or alcohol-inspired tattoos we could find. Please, don't be like these people, but if you really feel the need, take pictures and post them on the internet so us normals can laugh at you.

Bellflower?

Source

Mr. Weed Bellflower: OK, you like weed, I get that. I won't even judge you on it, but what's with the creepy Geiger face and Father Time floating around up there? What's up with BELLFLOWER? I hope for your sake you plan on never leaving that craptastic couple of miles worth of LA, because that stuff covering your back, ya that shit's permanent.

Magically Disturbing

Source

In this scene we see a pegasus nailing a unicorn on a bed of clouds in front of a rainbow. The unicorn is smoking what can only be assumed to be NPH's favorite flavor of weed, considering the fact that this is a picture of a pegasus nailing a unicorn on a bed of clouds in front of a rainbow. At first I thought this was the single gayest tattoo that ever existed, then I felt ashamed of how sure I was that the unicorn is female.

The Dex-Head

Source

You know that weird smelly guy who did great on assessments in school, but barely managed a C average? The one who thinks normal drugs like weed and coke are too dirty? He's probably the neighborhood dex-head now, since it's so much more intellectual to choke down boxes of cough medicine than to be caught buying from a dealer. This guy is so proud of his intellectual drug-habits that he thinks it's cool to get the compound tattooed right on his neck. That way everyone can mistake him for someone with a job.

Just Plain Wrong

Source

Forgiving the fact that when this fades it's going to look like an enormous festering wound of some sort, this tattoo is a terrible idea just the way it is. First of all, anyone who's said that the canvas isn't part of the art, needs to look at this guy. Secondly, whether it's cannabis or not, the guy's got a huge unruly shrubbery growing all over his back-fat. Lastly, well, it's just plain wrong.

Drugs or Me

Source

While I respect this individual's conviction, the execution of this is just plain crap. White ink on a pasty white emo kid never turns out well, not even when it's dressed up in cursive and song lyrics. On that note, this could easily be misread at night to be "Drugs arme" or even "Drugs on me," neither of which seem to fit this person's life-perspective. They'd be better tattoo's though.

Forever Toking Weed

Source

It was a tough decision to make, but I'm calling this the most ghetto tattoo on this list. Getting past the fact that it's shitty and off-center, she didn't even bother coming up with flowery metaphors for it. She's just toking weed, all the time. The only good part about this is that she can't wear any plunging necklines or dresses since this atrocity would be plainly visible to the public, so she'll be safely bottled up in her pot-leaf T-shirt from high school for the rest of her life.

Blowhole Bong

Source

I've got to admit, I almost liked this one. It's not the comfortable looking scruffy arm-chair, or the fact that a dolphin is taking hits of a bong that ruins it for me. That's just creative enough to forgive how ridiculous this is to permanently mark yourself with. It's the tribal tattoo on the dolphin's fin that makes this an unholy travesty. I know there's a lot of dolphin hate going on lately, but why make it a douchebag right off the bat like that?

Free Drugs

Source

You'd think that people would learn from the idiots who go out and get Chinese calligraphy tattoos. It's always the same story, "beautiful flower" turns out "cheap whore." In this case, a straightedge girl thought she could show her pride by getting "drug free" inscribed on her back in Gaelic. Assuming she's even got a drop of Irish in her, it's not such a horrifying idea once you get past how lame it is. The little issue of "drug'ail" not being Gaelic doesn't seem to bother her, but the fact that her tattoo actually says "free drugs" might.

I Sense A Cover-up...

Source

To the owner of this tattoo: I commend you, Sir, for seeing the light and deciding to cover up that ridiculous pot-leaf. Also, while I personally don't like Artichokes, my dad does, so maybe you guys would get along. I don't quite understand why the artichoke is on fire though, since you steam them. Good effort either way, hope you like long pants.

BEER

Source

I had to sit and examine this one for quite some time, trying to figure out if this person's motivation was purely alcoholic, or if it was some sort of epic retribution cover-up resulting from a bad relationship. If it's the former, whoever this is needs to work at a brewery and plan on staying there. If it's the latter, I hope the next romance begins in a bar, because that's where it'll end.

Classy Abs

Source

Ah yes. How many men wouldn't want to have six-pack abs? This guy's not married, judging from the lack of ring, but with what he's got goin' on under that sweet NASCAR shirt the ladies will be flocking once they find out. This man's love of cheap American piss-beer will bring him years of happiness.

The Billboard

Source

At first I thought this may be one of those cases where words simply cannot express how bad an idea this was. After careful deliberation, I came to the conclusion that this is indeed the case, and that this horrifying display of white-trashery cannot be conveyed in any way but sheer visual experience. I also just threw up a little in my mouth.

This Is Your Brain On Drugs

Source

I like where this guy was going with this, in a purely theoretical sense. He didn't just have the frying pan there, or the eggs just up there scrambling, no he's gone all out and served up breakfast. He even included a fork for anyone interested and hungry, but I don't think anyone would find anything useful up there if they went poking around.

4-Pack of PBR

Source

Cheap bastards, hobos, and hipsters (ok, a little redundant there) make it a point of honor to drink this stuff. It's so dirt cheap, it can hardly be said to cost actual money at all, and yet this genius couldn't even manage to get a full 6-pack of them in his tattoo. Nevermind the fact that he's tattooing PBR cans on himself, this kind of half-assery is totally unacceptable.

Underage Drinking is a Crime

Source

The only redeeming quality in this pathetic attempt at (hopefully) self-inking is that it can be covered up later by a large square, or just left under clothing for the rest of this idiot's life. Honestly, I got bored in class too, and some of my friends sat and drew on themselves, but this is just brain-damaged.

Tags: