Prove to the rest of the world that you’re the uber man! What’s manlier than making a bottle of your very own whiskey or beer? Margarita? Tequila Sunrise? Ha! Those are for wimps! If you want to prove to your friends that you’re up for anything, go for moonshine.
If you don’t know what this is, it’s a potent drink that makes you forget (or want to forget) the night before. Have you ever woken up the next day wondering whatever in the world happened to you? You roll out of bed sans your clothes. You look at the floor and you see bits and pieces of what you wore the previous night. Then, you look over your shoulder and you see a stranger whose name you can barely remember. Was it Sheila? Or did her friends call her Ana? You even can’t put two letters together to make a coherent thought. Well, that’s moonshine for you! And while the thought of waking up lost as an orphan may be scary, that’s what happens with this crazy cocktail. If you’re lucky enough, you may even remember the first letter of your name.
Waking up disoriented, drunk from the night before – that’s something everyone needs to go through. Hell! We need to get totally inebriated at least once in our lives. And if you consider yourself gutsy, you need to get wasted at least several times each year.
Consider this your rite of passage. You just can’t consider yourself an adult if you don’t try moonshine at least once in your life. But what makes this drink the one that ends all alcoholic beverages is the fact that it’s so potent. You don’t get this from the restaurants or bars in your area. You make moonshine with your own two hands.
Making moonshine isn’t just an experience worth having. Think of yourself as the farmer slaving away at the plantation, trying to get yields from the crops. The moonshine serves as the fruit of your labor, and what a reward it is! It’ll make you forget your troubles and wonder why this doesn’t come out of your faucet. It should be your water. After all, it makes you forget life’s worries.
But before you click your heels, dance on rooftops, and rejoice out loud, you need to know how to make moonshine. Before you start, you need: 2 large pots, 1 jug, 1 pressure cooker, coiled and regular copper piping, 2.5 pounds of cornmeal, 10 pounds of sugar, 10 gallons of water, ½ oz. yeast, and charcoal for the final filter stage. Once you’ve got the weapons in your drunken arsenal gathered, follow the steps on the next page!
- Boil water and add cornmeal. Don’t go beyond boiling point or you’ll kill the yeast. It should just be warm enough to touch.
- Now that you’ve made the mash, add sugar and yeast. If there are 2 ingredients you need to appreciate, it’s these. These are the very two things in charge of providing that special kick.
- Ferment it for 5 days or until the bubbles stop forming. Now, you have the sour mash. Don’t let the name fool you because this mix is designed to make life sweet!
- Heat the sour mash in your pressure cooker and set it at 173 degrees Fahrenheit. This makes the alcohol rise to the surface.
- Attach one end of the copper pipe into the pressure cooker vent and dip the other end into a container filled with cold water. Make sure the pipe doesn’t touch your precious mash.
- As the vapors course through the cold copper tubing, the alcohol formed is now what we call the moonshine.
- Filter the drink through charcoal and remove gunk.
This is when you can finally drink the concoction. Watch how goosebumps start to form. You’ll soon be the epitome of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One minute, you’re this outstanding young man who’s the model of society. And the next, you’re this crazy, wild party-goer who doesn’t know which end is up. Wild as the night may be, it’s certainly unforgettable!
Check out an awesome infographic on how to make moonshine on the next page!
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